A gushy reporter told Jack Nicklaus, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?"

Nicklaus replied, "The holes are numbered".

My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.

He stacked the blocks against the house and ...Read More

Following a woman with a dog out of the movie theater, a man stopped her and said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I was amazed that your dog seemed to get into the movie so much. He cried at the right spots, moved nervously...Read More

What do witches eat at Halloween?
Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie!

What's Dracula's car called?
A mobile blood unit!

What do you call a hairy beast with clothes on?
A wear-...Read More

Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold
Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!

Doctor, Doctor I've broken my arm in two places
Well don't go back there again then!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.
...Read More

Jimmy sits down with Will Ferrell and Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer, Chad Smith, to clear the air before an epic drum-off that ends in a performance of "Don't Fear the Reaper" with the Red Hot Chili Peppers.