The guy who has spent two years screaming tweeting, ‘No collusion!’ is now saying ‘If anyone’s down the collude, I’m your guy!’
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass ...Read More
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.
The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there pal?"
"It’s a mongoose."
"What have you got that for?"
"Well, you know how ...Read More
As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.
Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he ...Read More
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, “Why do you want to join the Navy, son?”
“My father said it'd be a good idea, sir.”
“Oh? And what does your father do?”
“He's in the Army...
A man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. ...Read More