Biden’s the dummy? May I point out, only one of you is sitting on Putin’s lap with his hand up your butt.
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass ...Read More
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.
The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."
... continued from above
"If you don't like the way I fly, stay out of the asteroid field"
"The only way they'll get my Standard-Imperial Blaster Rifle is if they pry it from my cold, dead hands"
"I brake for Wookies (...Read More
Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.
"Certainly madam," he replied courteously.
Men are like fine wine...
They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ...Read More