I’m so shocked that the president really will just repeat anything someone random in a crowd shouts at him. Like, treason is not typically prosecuted in a call-and-response fashion. Even if you said treason to a parrot, the bird would be like, ‘Bawk! I’m not saying that, that’s a serious charge! Bawk! P.S. Polly doesn’t say ‘cracker’ anymore. I’m woke!’
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a bridge.
The Doctor says, "What's come over you?"
The guy says, "Three cars and a truck!"
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse, named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't ...Read More
I want a hair cut please.
Certainly, which one?
Do you look in the mirror after you've washed your face?
No, I look in a towel!
Why was the Egyptian girl worried?
Because her daddy was a mummy!
It's ...Read More
A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.
Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it...Read More
Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.
Susie: It grew on company time.
Boss: Not all that hair.
Susie: I didn't get it all cut.
Tomorrow, Auntie Anne’s is offering a special on heart-shaped pretzels. It’s a great deal for all you hopeless romantics taking your dates to La Guardia.