Humor

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Entertainment

Maya Rudolph on Her SNL ABBA Sketch with Kristen Wiig and Golden Girls Reboot Hoax

Humor / Jokes /

Maya Rudolph guesses March Madness team mascots as Whitney Houston and talks about her and Kristen Wiig's guest appearance on Saturday Night Live and the second season of Loot.

Random Question But… with Jerry Seinfeld | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Humor / Jokes /

Jimmy and Jerry Seinfeld ask each other random, thought-provoking questions while trying to get work done in the office.

Huey Lewis - His Legendary Music Career & "The Heart of Rock and Roll" | The Daily Show

Humor / Jokes /

“We all realized, I certainly did, that this was going to be the career event of my life”. Music legend Huey Lewis sits down with Jordan Klepper to discuss his new Broadway musical “The Heart of Rock and Roll”, being part of the career defining “We Are the World”, fumbling through producing his own music videos, and deciding which ...Read more

Meanwhile… Antibiotics In Chick-fil-A | NFL’s New Kickoff | Pet DNA Test Scandal

Humor / Jokes /

Meanwhile… Chick-fil-A ditched their promise to never feed antibiotics to their chickens, the NFL announced new rules for kicking off gameplay, and a local news exposé revealed that popular DNA tests for pets may be a total scam.

For The Kids...

Humor / Jokes /

Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

My teacher reminds me of history
She's always ...Read more

Laryngitis

Humor / Jokes /

A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.

The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."

Darn Cat

Humor / Jokes /

A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be ...Read more

Sweatshirt or Windbreaker

Humor / Jokes /

A girl says to a salesman, "I'm not sure if I should buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker."

He says, "Well, that depends. Are you gonna sweat, or are you gonna break wind?"

Cheaper Perfume

Humor / Jokes /

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the ...Read more

Lost Phone?

Humor / Jokes /

My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!"

I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?"

There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation ...Read more

Quick Quotes

Humor / Jokes /

"Today is the 24th anniversary of the IBM personal computer. Experts say it revolutionized work and made people more pro- ductive at the office. Except for the six hours a day they are emailing friends, surfing the Internet, and playing solitaire!" --Jay Leno

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"There's a more important reason to keep NASA's programs going strong ... ...Read more

Jack Black Winds Himself During Kung Fu Demonstration | The Jonathan Ross Show

Humor / Jokes /

Jack Black joins Jonathan on the couch to talk about reprising his role as Po in 'Kung Fu Panda' and meeting Jackie Chan. Jack demonstrates some martial arts moves including Karate, Judo, and Kung Fu.

Seth and Kristen Stewart Go Day Drinking

Humor / Jokes /

Seth and Kristen Stewart spend a day drinking at Boxers NYC in New York City, where they do things like make cocktails inspired by her films and play a game where they have to tell the truth or take shots.

Random Question But… with Jerry Seinfeld | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Humor / Jokes /

Jimmy and Jerry Seinfeld ask each other random, thought-provoking questions while trying to get work done in the office.

Liam Neeson Auditions To Play The Easter Bunny

Humor / Jokes /

Think he’ll get the part?

Men Fail Miserably When Quizzed on Women

Humor / Jokes /

Women have contributed so much to the world. But we often wonder, how much does the average guy know about women’s history? So we went out onto Hollywood Boulevard where all the smartest people line up and we invited men, passing by our studio to take a women’s history mini-quiz.

Vermont Dumb Laws

Humor / Jokes /

- Whistling underwater is illegal

- At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.

- Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

- It is illegal to deny the existence of God

- Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week- - on Saturday night.

Crime

Humor / Jokes /

Late one night in the Washington D.C. a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.

"Give me your money," he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"

"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"

Funeral Comments

Humor / Jokes /

Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy ...Read more

Feline Physics

Humor / Jokes /

Law of Cat Elongation - A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction - A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration - A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he ...Read more

 

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