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    <title><![CDATA[Jokes - ArcaMax Publishing]]></title>
	<link>https://www.arcamax.com//entertainment/humor/jokes/rss</link>
	<description><![CDATA[Jokes News Feed]]></description>
	<language>en-us</language>
	<copyright>Copyright 2026 ArcaMax Publishing</copyright>
	
	
	
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		<title><![CDATA[Pick-Up Lines, part 3]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[... continued from above

If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Darn me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

[Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Can I ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1414123</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/28/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Exercising Advice]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[1. For every mile you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at the age of 85, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $5,000/month.

2. The only reason I took up jogging was to hear heavy breathing again.

3. I ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-432940</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/28/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Excellent Skydiving Advice]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Recently, I got to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.

One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-432939</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/28/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Stop Redundancy]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time.

Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-85544</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/28/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[The Parrot]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad
attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with
profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-16141</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/28/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Politician's Sandwich]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[On the Listening Tour, a prominent politician was pleased and proud that the local sandwich shop in a town he was visiting had named a sandwich after him. He was somewhat less pleased after he found out what was in it. "Mostly baloney," said the ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1223836</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/27/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Anniversary Gift]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[For their anniversary, a couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting.

When they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1223835</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/27/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Three Doors]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors.

Satan explains, "I have good news and bad news.  The bad news is that you
have to spend eternity behind one of these doors.  But, the good news is
that you can take a peek behind ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-84798</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/27/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Big Ad Account]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[During a Papal audience, a businessman approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-84796</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/27/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Quick Funnies]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can 
do him absolutely no good." 

--Samuel Johnson, lexicographer (1709-1784) 

---

Some people are like slinkies... not really good for anything, 
but it's still fun to watch them tumble ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-16056</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/27/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Time Honored Truths]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1223193</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/26/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[The Deep Hole]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[These two guys out hunting find a hole in the woods that's about three feet 
across, but it's so deep that when they drop a rock, they hear no sound. So 
they drop a bigger rock, but they still hear nothing.

So they go looking for something ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-971269</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/26/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[The Rules of Chocolate]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[- If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too 
slowly.

- Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all 
count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

- The problem: How to get 2 pounds of ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-971268</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/26/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[How To Know You're  Ready For Parenthood]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[<b>MESS TEST: </b>
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet 
flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a 
fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

<b>TOY TEST: </b>
...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-971266</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/26/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Statistician's Answering Machine]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. I'm probably not at home, or not wanting to answer the phone, most probably the latter, according to my latest calculations. Supposing that the universe doesn't end in ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-84802</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/26/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Performance Reviews, part 8]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[... continued from above

"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."

"It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."

"One neuron short of a ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1413178</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/25/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Performance Reviews, part 3]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[... continued from above

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"This employee should go far... and the sooner he starts, the better."

"Got a ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1412600</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/25/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Texan With a New Car]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck 
Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign 
car he bought as soon as he gets back."

"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-970855</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/25/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Classwork]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man 
is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to 
punctuate it correctly. 

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." 

The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-15959</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/25/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Real Teachers]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Real teachers buy Excedrin and 
Advil in bulk at Sam's. 

Real teachers will eat anything left in 
the teacher's lounge. 

Real teachers grade papers 
in the car, during commercials, 
in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, 
and at the end of nine ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-15871</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/25/2026</pubDate>
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