1. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.
2. When was the last time you tuned in to "Friends" and got a "Not Found 404" message?
3. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.
4. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.
5. A remote control has fewer buttons than a ...Read more
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country.
Maybe we should give ...Read more
- There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
- Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.
- Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back. This is what I'm doing wrong.
- Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
- Never ...Read more
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who ...Read more
- A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
- Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function. (See "Demolition Man" and countless others)
- Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems ...Read more
If you are visiting in New York right now, you might have noticed that yesterday, activists put a banner on the Statue of Liberty reading, “Refugees Welcome.” It’s absolutely a lovely thought, but kind of redundant on the Statue of Liberty, isn’t it? It’s like taking a rainbow flag and adding, “We Like the Gays!” It’s not ...Read more
Scientists are saying people who grow up with cats in their homes are not more likely to develop mental illnesses. No, the mental illness comes first.
The most shocking thing is that it’s only been 34 days since Trump became president. How? It feels like he’s halfway into his second term, doesn’t it? This is the first administration where the public is aging faster than the president.
101 of the Greatest Kid's Jokes Ever Told. Ever!M.J. Farrell
Are you looking for a little book full of funny and safe jokes for children of all ages? Look no more! This beautifully executed book provides you and your children 101 easy to read and learn jokes to keep you and your family entertained. Through sharing a laugh or two with your children and ...
The 'Morning Joe' host says the actions of Americans, especially Republican Senators, will be scrutinized for decades to come.
Trump’s frequent visits to his Mar-a-Lago resort have many wondering if he’ll stick with the presidential tradition of visiting Camp David. While others would just be happy if he stuck with the tradition of visiting the White House. You’re still president on the weekends, you know that? All right, good.
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. ...Read more
- No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
- Dog ...Read more
A fine is a tax for doing something wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing something right.
Billy and Willy were at Sunday school studying about Noah's ark. On the way home, Willy asked, "Do you think Noah did much fishing?"
"How could he?" said Billy. "He only had two worms".
"Here's an interesting statistic - according to "Cosmo", over 30 percent of men between the ages of 18 and 34 still live with their parents. These men are known as "Star Wars" fans." --Jay Leno
"The New York Yankees are building a new stadium. It's going to have a 1920's feel to it -- just like the hot dogs." --Dave Letterman
--- ...Read more
In this Hero Swap, The Matrix swaps out Neo with Forrest Gump because there is no spoon and you never know what you're gonna get.
For those of you keeping score at home, Donald Trump has gone golfing six times 30 days. That explains the bumper sticker on Air Force One: “I’d rather be golfing, and there’s a 20% chance that I am.”
The American flag behind Vice President Mike Pence during his speech in Brussels yesterday accidentally featured 51 stars instead of 50. In honor of the new 51st U.S. state — panic.
The British parliament is debating whether or not Donald Trump should be allow to make a state visit to the United Kingdom after a petition to keep him out garnered 1.8 million signatures. Hey, Donald, how’s that travel ban feel when it’s on the other foot?
Seth takes a closer look at the Trump administration's major changes to immigration policy.