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WASHINGTON -- Today, yet another installment of my Pulitzer Prize-winning coverage of the plight of beleaguered customer service representatives.

Kari-Out chopsticks

Me: You know how some Americans have trouble using your product? Well, I have an idea that might help your company sell here. Chopsticks are sold in pairs, two prongs next to each other and you have to break them apart, right?

Riona: Yeah.

Me: What if instead of that, for Americans, you glue together two pairs of chopsticks, side by side, so there are four parallel tines. Then we can just spear the food with it! It would become a fork!

Riona: I am in sales, not new item introductions.

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Me: But still, is it a good idea?

Riona: It is not what chopsticks do. Not how they work.

Me: But with my idea, we dumb-but-frugal Americans could also use them as really cheap combs! Will you pass this on, at least?

Riona: No.


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