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Rhyme and punishment

Gene Weingarten on

It's with them that I'm sharing these drinks."

But yesterday evening, the guy orders two,

Which fills me with very grave doubt.

I asks him real gently, "How goes it with you?

Has somebody's luck just run out?"

He laughs for a bit and then takes a big slug

And stares back at me, quite unblinking.

"My brothers are fine. They're both warm and snug,

It's merely that I have quit drinking."

The Lady and the Dog, retold as a triple iambic quatrain

A man and a dog were outside one night

When up walked a lady, who, after a while

Asked of the man, "Does your doggy bite?"

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"Never," he said with a confident smile.

The lady got down in a bit of a crouch

And patted the fellow right under his chin.

A few seconds later, she screamed out an "OUCH!"

As canine sunk canine deep into her skin.

Recoiling in horror, the lady then spoke:

"Your dog didn't bite, you said!" (She was agog.)

The man shrugged his shoulders, took a drag on his smoke

"The thing is," he said slowly, "that isn't my dog."

========

Gene Weingarten can be reached at weingarten@washpost.com. Follow him on Twitter, @geneweingarten. Chat with him online Tuesdays at noon Eastern at www.washingtonpost.com.

(c) 2017, The Washington Post Writers Group


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