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The Gospel According to Donald

Gene Weingarten on

WASHINGTON -- Did you see the widespread news reports that President Trump likes to get a "propaganda document" twice a day filled with nice stuff about himself? Supposedly, it is material that aides have culled that makes him look good. Sometimes it is a chyron screenshot with a line he would like. Sometimes it is a positive news story. Sometimes, a supportive tweet. Sometimes, if they are out of positive things, which I bet happens a lot, the staff will throw in some photos that flatter the president.

I'm not sure if these reports are true -- some staffers deny it -- but I hope it is. We want President Grump to be happy and content. What I'd suggest is that aides get more creative with their positive news. We all know the president doesn't check things out real carefully; why let truth stand in the way?

A picture of Trump, President Lincoln Photoshopped in next to him, with Trump taller than the 6-foot-4 Lincoln in his top hat.

A mock-up Nobel Prize for "Terrificness."

A letter from the members of National Organization for Women admitting periods are gross and they are so sorry and ashamed.

A Photoshopped picture of Obama's inaugural crowd massing for a tour of Trump's childhood home in Queens.

A tweet from Chuck Norris saying he wishes he were half as tough as Trump.

A tweet to Trump from the pope, confessing his sins and begging forgiveness.

A note from the Department of the Treasury saying it is planning to put Trump's face on a new $1,000,000,000,000,000,000 bill.

A New York Times front page with the banner headline "We Are Failing Because We Suck."

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