Welcome, friends and allies, to the "Game of Thrones" safe space.
Here in our cozy sanctuary, you don't have to feel like an outcast merely because you've never seen the record-setting, groundbreaking, mind-blowing, must-see masterpiece of a TV show that's a sensation all around the globe.
Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to make you hyperventilate. We're here to ease your anxiety, not to make it worse.
All I'm trying to say is that here in this protected place, it's OK to be your culturally clueless or contrarian self, no defense or apology required.
Within these walls, there's absolutely no need to pretend to understand the headline that says "The 20 most gruesome 'Game of Thrones' deaths, ranked" or "'Game of Thrones' will kill off Tyrion Lannister in Season 8."
Yes, dear clueless people, in here you are blissfully free to disregard the so-called news story that announces "17 'Game of Thrones' items you need for the premiere."
Sorry? Did someone say, "What premiere?"
Please. Even if you've never watched the world's greatest TV show -- as the Los Angeles Times just called it in preparation for aforementioned premiere -- you must know the final season starts soon and it is going to be epic!
You don't know even that much? I don't believe it.
If you're reading this, you're a news consumer, and if you're a news consumer, you consume GoT news if only through cultural osmosis, the process by which pointless information seeps into your brain with no effort, which explains why you can spell Kardashian.