Color of Money: Financial vulnerability keeps many women quiet
Repeated refusals of his romantic overtures led to even more attempts -- even an unnerving love letter. All unwanted advances. The hairs on my arm would literally stand up when I spotted him heading my way.
So why didn't I tell?
Because I didn't want it to become a big thing. To cope, I minimized the harassment. I told myself the guy was harmless. He never touched me inappropriately. He never threatened my job.
I'll be honest. Management probably would have addressed the issue and stopped him from coming around. In those days, I doubt he would have been fired.
But I didn't tell because I was nervous about possibly derailing my career. I didn't want to be denied opportunities by being labeled "too sensitive."
I didn't want male editors worried I would misinterpret any of their actions. A newsroom back in the day could be very raunchy.
To tell is to become part of the rumor mill. It subjects you to criticism of what you may have done to encourage the abuse or what you didn't do to discourage it.
I was the first among my siblings to graduate from college. I was the first to be paid the kind of money I made, even as what they used to call a "cub reporter."
My paycheck helped take care of a disabled brother. It paid for some things my grandmother needed. It assisted my sister, who was trying to recover from a financially devastating divorce.
As I talked with a friend about our early days in the newsroom, she reminded me of so many other instances of inappropriate behavior toward us and other female journalists.
"What about the news photographer who kept taking pictures of us during reporting assignments?" she recalled. "He's probably got those photos in his basement."
We both shrieked with revulsion at the thought.
I had pushed those memories deep down. Funny how we compartmentalize such things, she said. We just dealt with the creepy men by doing what we could to make ourselves less vulnerable, like coming up with the phone warning signal.
But with each new sexual harassment revelation, I hope we get closer to a time when women won't fear that they have to stay quiet, when they won't have to choose between their paycheck and putting up with predatory behavior.
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