New Job Phone Home

Bob Goldman on

It's an unlikely turn of events.

With virtual reality poised to take over our work and our lives, many companies are still using an archaic technology to find and hire employees. It's called the telephone call.

It's true! Before you don your VR headset and send your avatar to battle other applicants in the virtual playing fields of the Human Resources Department, you may have to suffer through a mundane phone conversation with a hiring manager who, like your mother, doesn't understand why you never call.

And what should you say in what could be a life-changing phone call? has the answer. The job website has recently published "22 Phone Interview Tips to Help You Nail the Call (and Move to the Next Round)," by Alyse Kalish.

I don't have time to discuss all 22 tips (I'm waiting for a phone interview for a top-level position at a major international bank.) (I've been waiting since 1997.) But I can provide a smattering of telephonic insights to help you nail the job of your dreams. (Just lay off my bank gig, OK? I've already got a Bentley on order.)


No. 1: Get clear on the details.

Know the time of your call and the name of the person you will be bamboozling (er, speaking to.) Be especially careful to note the number they'll be calling from. This will allow you to demonstrate your ability to think outside the box.

"It's obvious I'm a good match for your position," you explain. "Adding the first 3 digits in your telephone number and dividing by my birthdate produces a number that is exactly one half of the Quincunx Pattern as adopted by the Hermetic Qabalah school of numerology."

Few recruiters will fail to be convinced by this argument, which means that if you are hired, you'll definitely be the smartest -- and the sanest -- person in the company.


swipe to next page



Zack Hill Fowl Language Caption It Bart van Leeuwen Christopher Weyant Al Goodwyn