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Follow the Leader

Bob Goldman on

Sign No. 3 is, "You seek differing opinions and perspectives." This is definitely you. All your most important career decisions have been the result of gathering differing opinions from trained professionals well beyond the corporate sphere, like Doctor Laura or Doctor Phil or the bartender at the Kit Kat Klub.

"Companies and people need to stop living and working in silos," says expert Tim Sanders on the subject of reaching out from corporate confines. I'm not so sure this is true. A silo looks pretty darn good when your workplace is a hog pen.

"Results and trust are more important than control" is Sign No. 5. As expert Randy Pennington says, "(P)ower comes from trust rather than fear."

This may be true, but in the years it takes to build trust, fear isn't a bad short-term solution. Your strange behavior has already weirded out half the staff. If you step up your game by carrying a bullwhip into meetings and occasionally throwing a chair across the conference room, your co-workers will soon become absolutely terrified of you. When they start calling you "the ticking time bomb" you know you're ready for a senior leadership position, probably in HR.

Sign No. 7 is, "You get excited about other people's talents." This is certainly true of you. No one is more focused on discovering the special abilities of your co-workers. How else would you know which of your co-workers you need to annihilate first?

"You understand the goal is to help them succeed" is sign No. 8. According to our authors, "many new managers think that their team should be helping them succeed." The true leader knows it is the responsibility of the leader to help the team succeed. This is totally you. You have always worked to help your teammates succeed, not necessarily at your workplace, of course, but in learning how to live on food stamps, in the new successful life they will create after you get them canned.

"You understand the power of appreciation" is sign No. 10. You'll have to accept the power of appreciation on faith, since you have never actually gotten any. Apparently, a leader shares the glory of their glittering successes with their followers, even though the followers have done nothing but all the work.

If this seems wrong to you, chances are you are not a potential leader, but you would make a heck of an executive.

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Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company, but he finally wised up and opened Bob Goldman Financial Planning in Sausalito, California. He now works out of Bellingham, Washington. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.

 

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