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Q: My parents got divorced when I was about 10, and it was a very painful time for me. Now my boyfriend and I are seriously talking about marriage, but down inside I'm honestly afraid. What if we end up the same way my parents did? -- C.R.

A: Your hesitancy is completely understandable, and to be honest, it's better for you to be cautious and thoughtful about marriage than to rush headlong into it without thinking -- as some people do.

At the same time, don't let your fears paralyze you or keep you from whatever God may have for you in the future. Yes, because of your parents' experience you're afraid of failure -- but just because their marriage failed doesn't mean yours also must fail -- not at all. In fact, I suspect you learned much from what happened to them, and you may be better equipped as a result to avoid the pitfalls that trapped them.

What should you do? First, seek God's will for your future -- including your marriage. Almost nothing strengthens a marriage more than the certainty that God brought the two of you together, and that it was His will for you to become husband and wife. God gave marriage to us, and Jesus confirmed this by performing His first miracle at a wedding (see John 2:1-11). The Bible says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh" (Matthew 19:5).

Then make Christ the center and the foundation of your life -- and your marriage. Let Him fill you with love and mutual respect, and seek to serve one another for Christ's sake. The Bible says, "Love is patient, love is kind. ... It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7).

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(Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.)

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