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Author Bio:
Editor and teacher Rob Kyff writes "The Word Guy," a collection of vocabulary trivia, language facts, and reader-submitted examples of bad grammar...
Read more about Rob Kyff.
Editor and teacher Rob Kyff writes "The Word Guy," a collection of vocabulary trivia, language facts, and reader-submitted examples of bad grammar...
Read more about Rob Kyff.
Caution: Verbal Congestion Ahead
Rob Kyff
And now a morning drive with Traff Trendspeak, the poster boy of
cliche-spouting TV and radio traffic reporters:
Word Guy: Will we encounter any delays on the interstate this morning?
Traff: Looks like YOUR morning commute will be smooth sailing in YOUR car on YOUR route to YOUR job.
WG: But what about everyone else's morning commute? Do you think they'll encounter any delays this morning?
Traff: Just a tap of the brakes near Exit 43, but otherwise clear sailing through the tunnel? Tap of the brakes.
WG: But if I tap my brakes, it doesn't really slow down the car at all.
Traff: Speaking of dealing with your morning commute, looks like you might be dealing with a few delays up ahead similar to the delays you were dealing with yesterday.
WG: I guess we'll just have to deal with it.
Traff: Watch out! There's an accident working in the right lane!
WG: Gee, thanks! By the way, how hard does an accident work? How much does it get paid? Uh, OK, now it looks as if the cars in the accident are being towed away and everyone is leaving.
Traff: Oh, yeah, that accident is in the process of clearing.
WG: Does the accident take away the dishes only, or does it remove the silverware and wine glasses as well? Say, what are those police cars doing on the side of the road?
Traff: Oh, that's police activity. You see that a lot these day, police activity.
WG: But what kind of activity? Manhunt? Hostage standoff? Or just that thing where two police cars face each other going in opposite directions on the median so their drivers can talk?
Traff: Those police, they like their activities, ya' know what I'm sayin'?
WG: Hmmm -- I seem to smell smoke.
Traff: Oh, it looks like we might have a smoke situation in the tunnel up ahead.
WG: Is that different from a rubbernecking situation, a construction situation or a merging situation?
Traff: Not really. They're all basically situation situations.
========
Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Rob Kyff and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2009 Creators Syndicate Inc.
This news arrived on: 08/26/2009
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