Charlotte family's multigenerational home is right on trend

The last time Diana Quin lived with her parents, it was the 1980s and she was a young, single adult.

Now they're back together in a new house in southwest Charlotte, along with her husband and daughters -- six family members, three generations, one house.

So far, the family says, the move has worked well, and the grandparents' dog, Bo, has even reached a truce with the Quins' cat, Juliet.

The families decided to combine households after Asa Myers, Diana Quin's father, went through health problems in 2010. They completed their final move-in in December.

Quin, 48, hopes her parents, Asa and Joan Myers, will be able to age in place, avoiding nursing homes and assisted living because they'll be with family.

Game nights, free child care, homemade candy with grandma and a bigger house than either family could afford on their own are benefits, too.

Asa, 75, and Joan Myers, 73, are still living independently. They drive to their church, volunteer at a senior center in Clover, S.C., and deliver meals to homebound people. They have long-term care insurance if one of them becomes seriously ill, but hope they never have to use it.

The number of multigenerational households has grown, a consequence, experts say, of tough economic times and an aging population. The AARP says households where a parent lives with the head of household has grown from 5 million in 2000 to 7.1 million in 2010.

But in some ways, the current trend is a return to an older standard. The Pew Research Center says that 57 percent of Americans lived in multigenerational households in 1900. That fell to 17 percent by 1990, as social norms changed to emphasize nuclear families, and more older adults had access to pensions, savings and Social Security and thus could afford to live on their own. Since then, Pew says that percentage has gradually increased, reaching 20 percent in 2008.

Parent's illness sparks idea

One thing that's different about living with, as opposed to near, your parents, Quin said, is the realization that you're not just visiting for a few hours anymore.

"When you're there day in and day out, they see you at your best and your worst," said Quin. There's no hiding grumpiness behind a cheery facade until you head home after dinner. "We're all part of each other's good days and bad days."

The Quins and the Myerses had been thinking about moving in together for several years, but only decided to go for it after Asa Myers suffered heart-related problems two years ago. A retired naval veteran and retired nurse, Asa and Joan Myers were living in Clover, S.C., where they had moved years ago to be closer to Diana Quin and her brother.

Their friends counseled them not to rush in. You'll be on top of each other! Don't do it! You'll have to have your own kitchen!

Both families lived in modest ranch houses. Peighton,12, and Delaney, 10, who are homeschooled, shared a bedroom.

In 2011, they put their homes on the market and got started building the new home. They moved into a two-bedroom apartment for six months during construction.

The family decided to go with a new custom home in the Berewick neighborhood, in southwest Charlotte, so they could make sure they had the space for everyone. They were able to afford a larger house by pooling their money with the Myerses, and got a lower interest rate than they could have gotten a few years ago.

They worked together designing the house, which has two full master bedrooms and bathrooms, one on the first floor. It also has a living room for the Myerses and an upstairs living room for the girls, who, for the first time, have their own bedrooms.

"We don't miss sharing a room at all," Delaney said. Now, "you only have your own stuff to pick up."

Scott Quin, 46, is an electrical engineer. He stopped by the new house every day on his way to or from work, checking out the progress and making sure the contractor was doing the job right. The house was finished late last year.

"My husband loves my parents," said Diana Quin. "Otherwise, we wouldn't be doing this."

"We built this with the hope in mind that they could finish out their life in this house and not have to go into assisted living because we can all help each other," Diana Quin said. "If one of them passes away, the other one is already here, and already part of the routine."

And integrating the grandparents into day-to-day life works well, Diana Quin said. She's happy to see her parents drawing the girls away from their smartphones, computers and television.

"One day when I came home from grocery shopping, they were on their seventh game of Sequence," a board game, said Quin.

"We almost beat Grandma and Grandpa!" said Peighton, who said she and her sister ended up losing four games to three.

'Go with the punches'

Some things have taken getting used to. The Myerses hadn't lived in a house with a security system, and Joan has set it off a few times. She and Asa Myers also had to downsize and get rid of stuff. The family's two pets, a dog and a cat, have grudgingly come to an accommodation, with the cat occupying the second floor and the dog on the ground floor. But they say it's a small price for what they've gotten.

"We knew there would be adjustments," Joan Myers said. "You kind of have to go with the punches."

Advice from the families

--Plan ahead. The Myerses and Quins spent a lot of time tweaking their new house's floor plan to make sure everyone would have enough space. They paid attention to details such as making sure the Myerses had a ground-floor bedroom with their own exterior door for their dog.

--Buy a house that's new for both families, if possible. That way, you avoid the feeling that the parents are imposing on their kids, or vice versa. And everyone gets the experience of building a new home together.

--Make sure everyone is compatible. The Quins and Myerses have always been close, and they've traveled together and spent time together regularly without problems for years.

--Find support. A quick online search for "sandwich generation" (a term coined to describe those in between young children and aging parents) should turn up plenty of resources.

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