Recipes - Tales from the ArcaMax Chef

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Tales from the ArcaMax Chef

Last time I figured out why Oscar the three legged cat continued to gain weight despite being on a strict diet.

New subscribers will need to review prior menus to get the details on how Oscar had experienced so many problems in his first two years (hit by car, lost hind leg, fixed, attacked by pit bull, torn ACL in one hind leg, recurring urinary tract infections and resulting removal of said tract). Tract-less Oscar continued to get tract infections and the vet put Oscar on a strict diet of certain food to prevent such infections.

Unfortunately, the special food was full of extra calories and carbohydrates. Oscar, who doesn't get around much anymore, put on a lot of weight and the vet directed us to put Oscar on a diet ... on which he immediately gained weight.

The weight gain was a mystery until She Who Must Be Obeyed (my wife) and the Jungle Boys (our 13 and 15 year old sons) came clean and admitted to "supplementing" Oscar's food portions; either out of sympathy or just to get him out from under foot (y'all know how persistent a hungry cat can be).

A few days later, Oscar had a check up at the vet. I loaded Oscar into his cat carrier and, as I struggled to lift it into the car, I imagined how the vet was not going to be real happy with us and the results of Oscar's "diet".

We took Oscar to the vet and the assistant came in to weigh our cat. Rather than force her to struggle to dislodge Oscar from the carrier, I lifted the carrier up onto the examination table and removed the top, partly out of courtesy to this assistant and partly out of an effort to hide just how heavy our cat had gotten.

The assistant was a slight young woman and she really was struggling to pick up Oscar, even with the carrier up on the table. In addition to being heavy, Oscar is also a big cat physically and this lady really had to heave ho in order to lift Oscar up and carry him out of the room to the scale.

After a few minutes, the assistant brought Oscar back into the room. I swear she was breathing heavily as she put him back in the carrier and then left the room with Oscar's chart. The vet would be back any minute with the chart and the results of her examination of Oscar.

After a few tense minutes, the vet entered the room. "Well", said the vet, "you now officially own a cat and a half. Based on Oscar's frame size, he weighs one and a half times what he should weigh."

A few thoughts rushed into my head. I thought about the old standby regarding the scales at the doctor's office ... you know how you always weigh more at the doctor's office than you do at home. I immediately dismissed this excuse. For one thing, I didn't weigh Oscar at home. More importantly, the scale difference might amount to a pound or two but certainly couldn't explain an entire half of a cat.

Before I could speak the vet mentioned something that really hit home. "You know", she said, "at his weight and age, he is very susceptible to developing feline diabetes unless he loses weight immediately."

I knew nothing about feline diabetes but I imagined it would not be any fun for Oscar and not cheap for us. Thoughts of the vet buying a new Mercedes with the "Os-Car" license plate danced in my head.

I had my work cut out for me in the next few seconds. I had to simultaneously deflect any criticism for my inability to get my cat to reduce and at the same time, get help from the vet.

God Bless America.

Enjoy!

This news arrived on: 06/07/2007

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