Section 6 of 12 - Table of Contents
ACT II.
_Same as scene before. The wash-tub has been removed, also the washing
from the line. The table has been straightened and_ MRS. O'TOOLE _is
seated there making a toy elephant._ MRS. MULLIGAN _is seated at L.
dressing a doll body in a baby's dress. The candle burns before the
window._
MRS. O'TOOLE. It's lucky for us, darlin', that me husband is out at
his lodge tonight. I can stay with you until the children return from
the entertainment, and maybe it's a bit of a Christmas Eve high-jinks
we can be having afterwards.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Indade, I'm glad to have ye, Kathleen. Will your
husband be long at lodge?
MRS. O'TOOLE (_cutting the elephant's ears from brown paper_). He will
that. Pat is the Grand Exalted Chafe Ruler of the Benevolent and
Obstreperous Order of United Wooden-men, and he won't be home till
marnin'.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Is he now? The late Mr. Mulligan was niver much of a
lodge joiner but that made no difference to him; he niver came home
till marnin', lodge or no lodge.
MRS. O'TOOLE. Remember, Mollie, you're coming over to dinner with us
tomorrow. It's at one o'clock.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Oh, Kathleen, I can't be laving the children at all, at
all. On Christmas Day, too.
MRS. O'TOOLE. Of course you can't. Ye're going to bring the children
over with ye.
MRS. MULLIGAN. The whole tin of them?
MRS. O'TOOLE (_counting on fingers_).
Patsy and Matsy,
And Teddy Magee,
Nora Eudora,
And Micky Machree,
Bridget Honora,
And sweet Mary Ann,
Melissa, Clarissa,
And wee Peter Pan.
MRS. MULLIGAN. And ye're willing for the whole bunch of us to come?
MRS. O'TOOLE. All but the goat. I draw the line at Shamus O'Brien. Ye
see it's this way. Me man, Pat, won a turkey in a raffle, and it's as
big as a billy-goat. Then on top of that me daughter Toozy, that's
married and lives in the country, sent us two chickens and a goose.
And there's only me and Pat to ate all that.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Kathleen O'Toole, it's a saint ye are.
MRS. O'TOOLE. I says to Pat, says I, "Christmas ain't Christmas at
all, at all, unless there's some children at the dinner." "What'll we
do?" says Pat. "Invite the Mulligans," says I. And Pat was tickled to
death. We've potatoes and squash and cabbage from me own garden, and
we've oyster dressing and cramberries and stewed corn and apple
fritters, and it's meself that has made eight mince pies, and four
punkin ones--and I think we'll be after having a dinner on Christmas
Day that would do credit to ould Saint Patrick himself.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Sure, ye almost make me cry for joy, Kathleen O'Toole,
and after the goat trated ye the way he did, too.
MRS. O'TOOLE. If a woman can't be neighborly and loving on Christmas
Day, Mollie Mulligan, sure I'm thinking she niver can be neighborly
and loving at all, at all.
MRS. MULLIGAN. And ye're aven makin' a bit of an iliphant for wee
Peter Pan.
MRS. O'TOOLE. I am that. Here's the little, fat body. (_Shows
cylindrical piece of dark green squash._) And here's the four legs.
(_Shows two bananas cut in half._) I'll just stick the legs on with
nails--and there he stands. Now, here's a little potato for a head,
and an ould skinny carrot for a trunk. I'll stick them on with a hair
pin. (_Does so._) Now, I'll stick on the ears and put in the
shoe-button eyes, and with this wee bit of black paper for a
tailpiece, and there ye are. Mr. Mumbo Jumbo Mulligan as natural as
life and twice as handsome. (_Shows elephant to audience._)
MRS. MULLIGAN. Here's a doll baby I've dressed, but it's no head she
has at all, at all.
MRS. O'TOOLE. Use a big yellow apple or a wee yellow punkin, and put
on a baby cap--and there ye are. Stick in some buttons for eyes, and a
wee nose and mouth of red paper--and stick the head on the body with
some hair pins, and the quane herself niver had a better doll baby.
MRS. MULLIGAN. I'll put her right here on the table alongside of the
iliphant.
MRS. O'TOOLE. It's nine o'clock, it is. Isn't it time for the children
to be home?
MRS. MULLIGAN (_goes to door at R._). It is that. (_Looks out._) And
here they come now.
(_The children are heard outside at R., singing to the tune of
"Marching Through Georgia."_)
The Mulligans are coming now, as happy as can be,
We've been to the Sunday School and saw the Christmas tree,
Had a lark with Santa Claus and take a tip from me,
We'll all be marching on Christmas!
(_They march in from R., come down to front and line up._)
Hurrah, hurrah, the Mulligans are here,
Hurrah, hurrah, for Santa Claus so dear,
Sure, it was a happy night,
The best one in the year,
And we'll be marching on Christmas!
Patsy got a trumpet, little Micky got a drum,
Matsy got a spinning top, you ought to hear it hum,
Clarissa got a candy cane, oh, won't we have the fun,
When we are marching on Christmas!
Hurrah, hurrah, the Mulligans are here,
Hurrah, hurrah, for Santa Claus so dear,
Sure, it was a happy night,
The best one in the year.
And we'll be marching on Christmas.
Nora got a picture-book, Melissa got a rake,
Every Mulligan on deck got oranges and cake,
Got a bag of candy, too--and got the stomachache,
But we'll be marching on Christmas.
Hurrah, hurrah, the Mulligans are here,
Hurrah, hurrah, for Santa Claus so dear,
Sure, it was a happy night,
The best one in the year.
And we'll be marching on Christmas.
(_They march around stage while singing the chorus, but line up in
front while singing the verses. Use gestures to indicate the different
persons and their toys._)
MRS. MULLIGAN. And did ye have a good time at the entertainment?
BRIDGET. Indade and we did that. It was as good as a circus parade and
a picture show together. They treated us just lovely.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Did they now? And you wasn't invited at all, at all.
MATSY. They gave us a seat way up in front, and Micky Machree acted
like a pig, he did. Sure, he grabbed two oranges.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Why, Micky, it's ashamed of ye I am.
MICKY. I grabbed one to bring home to you, maw. I wanted you to have
some of the Christmas present, too.
MRS. MULLIGAN (_hugs him_). That's just like your father, Micky.
MRS. O'TOOLE (_helping children off with hats, wraps, etc._). And did
ye have a good time, wee Peter Pan?
PETER PAN. Scwumptious, just scwumptious.
MARY ANN. And me sash niver busted in two at all. And I was one of the
most stylish young ladies present, so I was.
MELISSA. And they had a great, big Christmas tree. Clean up to the
ceiling. With lights and toys and candy and little stars and bright
fairies and angels and everything.
PATSY. And ould Santy Claus was there with a long white beard and a
big pack of presents to everyone.
CLARISSA. And I pulled Santa Claus' whiskers and they nearly fell off.
He must be getting pretty old, 'cause his whiskers is coming loose.
BRIDGET. And Santy Claus called out all the names and everybody got up
when their names was called and he gave 'em a present.
MICKY. And they never called our names at all, at all.
MRS. MULLIGAN. That's because they didn't know them. They didn't
expect you at the party.
MARY ANN. It was a surprise party, maw.
MRS. MULLIGAN. How was it a surprise party, Mary Ann?
MARY ANN. They all looked surprised when we came in.
NORA. When I saw they weren't going to call out our names, I just rose
up in me seat and took the whole nine of 'em by the hand and marched
right up to Santa Claus. He looked real surprised at the bunch of us.
MRS. MULLIGAN. I should think he would.
NORA. "And who are you?" says he. "We're the ten little Mulligans from
Mulligan Alley in Shantytown," says I, as cool as an icicle. "And
we're ready for our presents, if it's all the same to you," says I. I
thought they was going to fire us out, but what did he do but dive way
down in the bottom of the sack and give every last one of us a
present?
TEDDY. And then he gave us bags of candy and oranges and apples and
peanuts and popcorn and a candy cane, and then they had a show and
Bridget Honora spoke a piece, she did.
MRS. O'TOOLE. How did ye happen to spake a piece, Bridget Honora?
BRIDGET. I just stood up and told 'em I knowed one. There ain't
nuthin' bashful about me. And I kind o' thought we ought to do
something to help pay fer the good things they gave us.
MRS. MULLIGAN (_petting her_). That's me good little Bridget Honora.
MELISSA (_sees doll on table_). Oh, wee! Lookee there! Where'd she
come from?
MRS. O'TOOLE. Santa Claus was after being here while you were away and
he left it for you.
MELISSA. Is it all for me?
MRS. MULLIGAN. It's the Mulligan dolly. It's fer all ten of yeez.
PATSY. She can have my share. I don't want no dolls.
MICKY. Oh, look at the efulunt. Look at the efulunt.
MRS. O'TOOLE. That is Mumbo Jumbo Mulligan from the sunny shores of
Africa, way down in Louisiana.
CHILDREN. Who's he fur? Who's he fur?
PETER PAN (_takes elephant_). He's fur me. Scwumptious!
TEDDY. Maw, they had a show there at the Sunday School. There was a
wee little man, about so long (_measures about two feet_), and he
stood up on a table and sang a song, so he did.
PATSY. Humph! I know how they did that. Matsy and me can show it to
you.
MELISSA. And they had the Turnover Topsy Turvies, too.
CLARISSA. They stood upside down on their heads.
MRS. MULLIGAN. My, my--but it must have been a wonderful show.
MRS. O'TOOLE. Just think what we missed, Mollie Mulligan.
MATSY. I didn't miss nothin'. I never miss nothin' no time.
NORA. We could give just as good a show our own selves.
OTHERS. Let's do it; let's do it. Let's give a show for maw and Mis'
O'Toole.
TEDDY. Would you like to see it, maw?
MRS. MULLIGAN. If it ain't too late.
MRS. O'TOOLE. What matters it how late it is? Christmas comes but once
a year----
ALL. And when it comes it brings good cheer.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Then sure we'll have the show. Poor folks can be just
as happy on Christmas Day as rich folks. It's all in the way you feel
about it.
PATSY. Now, maw, you and Mrs. O'Toole take your seats out there in
front. (_Points to front row of the audience._)
MATSY. I'll help you carry them out. (_They carry down two chairs from
the stage and seat_ MRS. MULLIGAN _and_ MRS. O'TOOLE _in the
audience._)
PATSY. Now, we'll have to draw the curtain to get the stage ready.
NORA. And while we're getting ready Mary Ann can say her piece.
CURTAIN FALLS.
MRS. MULLIGAN (_in audience_). My, my, Kathleen, what a large crowd of
people are here tonight. I'm afraid I'm not dressed up for the
occasion.
MRS. O'TOOLE. Dressed up, is it? Indade you are. Ye have on short
sleeves and a low-neck dress. What more would ye want? There's the
minister and his wife setting right back there. (_Speaks to them._)
Good avening, Brother ----; sure, it's a fine avening we're having, is
it not?
MRS. MULLIGAN (_speaks to a lady in audience_). My, my, is it
yourself, Mrs. ----? Sure, I'm glad to see ye out. It's a long time
since I've had the pleasure of seeing you. (_Speaks to several
children._) And there's ---- and ---- and ----. I'm glad to see all of
yeez. Sure, some day yeez must come over to me house in Mulligan Alley
and I'll let you play with the goat, Shamus O'Brien.
MRS. O'TOOLE. I see the young ladies over there, and each one of them
has a young man. My, my, it does me ould heart good to see the young
folks enjoying themselves. It ain't so many years since me and Pat was
courting each other just like the rest of yeez.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Mrs. O'Toole, do you see that young man sitting there
all by his lonesome? Ain't it a shame? And him such a good looking
young feller, too. I've a good notion to go over there and cheer him
up a bit. Maybe his girl is here with another fellow.
MRS. O'TOOLE. Sure, there's plenty of girls here without any fellows
at all, at all. Why should a young man sit all alone like a bump on a
log, whin there's so many handsome colleens waiting for the chance at
him?
MRS. MULLIGAN. Whist, Mrs. O'Toole, it's making him embarrassed yeez
are. Will you look at the red color in his face?
MRS. O'TOOLE. If ye ask me my opinion, Mollie Mulligan, sure and I
think he's after waiting fer one of yer own lovely daughters.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Well, he might go further and fare worse. Nora Eudora's
a fine girl, if I do say it myself.
MRS. O'TOOLE. Whist, here comes Mary Ann out in front of the curtain
to spake her piece.
(MARY ANN _comes in front of the curtain, makes a bow and recites:_)
LETTER TO SANTA CLAUS.
Blessed old Santa Claus, king of delights,
What are you doing these long winter nights?
Filling your budgets with trinkets and toys,
Wonderful gifts for the girls and the boys.
While you are planning for everything nice,
Pray let me give you a bit of advice.
Don't take it hard if I say in your ear,
Santa, I thought you were partial last year;
Loading the rich folks with everything gay,
Snubbing the poor ones who came in your way.
Now of all times of the year I am sure
This is the time to remember the poor.
Plenty of children there are in our city,
Who have no fathers or mothers to pity;
Plenty of people whose working and heeding
Scarcely can keep all their dear ones from needing.
Now, if I came every year in December,
These are the ones I would surely remember.
Once on a beautiful Christmas you know
Jesus our Saviour was born here below,
Patiently stooping to hunger and pain,
So He might save us, His lost ones, from shame;
Now if we love Him, He bids us to feed
All His poor brothers and sisters who need.
Blessed old Nick! I was sure if you knew it,
You would remember and certainly do it;
This year, at least, when you empty your pack,
Pray give a portion to all who may lack.
Then, if there's anything left and you can
Bring a small gift to wee Peter Pan.
_--Emily H. Miller.--Adapted._
MRS. O'TOOLE (_applauding vigorously_). Wasn't that dandy? Sure,
little Mary Ann has a wonderful education, so she has!
MRS. MULLIGAN. She takes after her own mother. I was just like her
when I was that age.
MRS. O'TOOLE. And you're just like her still, Mollie Mulligan. Sure
you're the sunshine of Mulligan Alley and the belle of Shantytown.
MRS. MULLIGAN. Whist now! It's covered I am wid blushes. But, hush! I
think the show is about to begin.
ACT III.
_Curtain rises disclosing the same scene. Three long sheets hang on
the line, reaching down to the floor and extending clear across the
stage. The children are behind the sheets. The line is about three and
one-half feet high. The table sets obliquely in front of the door at
R. It is covered with a sheet or long cloth reaching to the ground._
PATSY _and_ TEDDY _form the dwarf._ PATSY, _coatless, has a long pair
of striped stockings on over his arms, and a pair of shoes on his
hands, ornamented on insteps with large rosettes._ TEDDY _stands
behind him and thrusts his arms as far as they will go under_ PATSY'S
_armpits. A kind of a tunic covers both. Wear a large crimped frill or
an enormous turned-down collar._
PATSY _stands behind table and places his shoe-clad hands upon it,
which represent the feet of the dwarf. The door curtains are fastened
together a few inches above his head, concealing_ TEDDY.
PATSY _must lean slightly over the table or the legs will not appear
to support the body._
_When the curtain is up, enter_ MATSY _from L. dressed as a Showman._
MATSY (_bows to audience, speaks in a loud voice, using megaphone_).
Come and see Jumbo, Samson symbolical!
Come and see Slivers, Clown really comical!
Come and see Zip, the foremost of freaks!
Come and see Palestine's Sinister Sheiks!
Eager Equestriennes, each unexcelled,
Most mammoth menagerie ever beheld,
The Giant, the Fat Girl, the Lion-faced Man,
Aerial Artists from far-off Japan,
Audacious Acrobats shot from a gun,
Don't miss the greatest show under the sun!
Now, if you will kindly lend me your ears for a moment, I will fill
them free of charge with a few words concerning the world's greatest
assortment of marvelous monstrosities. In the first cell we have Senor
Macaroni Spaghetti from the land of the banana. The senor is
thirty-nine inches high, and, strangely enough, thirty-nine years old,
to say nothing of the fact that he weighs thirty-nine pounds. (PATSY
_scratches his nose with his foot._) He arrived last week by parcel
post to join our circus. The senor is looking for a wife. Oh, you
needn't laugh! It's true. Some of you near-sighted ladies should have
brought magnifying glasses, for Senor Macaroni Spaghetti is the
smallest speck of humanity that ever lived in captivity. He stands on
a silver dollar and puts his hand in a thimble. (TEDDY _makes funny
gestures during this entire speech._) The senor will now entertain you
in his entertaining way.
PATSY (_sings_).
SPAGHETTI FROM OLD ITALY.
(Music on page 107)
Me name is Spaghetti, I came o'er the sea,
To visit this land from old Italy,
I have a small monkey, he jumps with a string,
And if he was here to you he would sing:
(_Dances._)
Tee-oodle, dum-doodle, dum-doodle, dum day!
(_Repeat until end._)
I once fell in love with the sweet Antoinette,
She say she will marry the little Spaghett,
But she said she no like-a a hand-organ man,
So I stand on the corner and sell-a banan.
(_Dances._)
Tee-oodle, dum-doodle, dum-doodle, dum day!
(_Repeat until end._)
I wed Antoinetta and live in a flat,
I buy-a fine clothes and a big silk-a hat,
I make-a much money and this little gent,
He maybe some day will be big President.
(_Dances._)
Tee-oodle, dum-doodle, dum-doodle, dum day!
(_Repeat until end._)
MATSY. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'll call your attention to the
seven little Sunbonnet babies. Behold them, them famous Mulligan
twins. (_Exits L._)
_The heads of_ NORA, MICKY, BRIDGET, MARY ANN, MELISSA, CLARISSA _and_
PETER _appear above the sheets at rear. Each wears a large sunbonnet.
They sing to the tune "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp!"_
Little Mulligans are we, and our hearts are light and free,
For it's Christmas Eve and soon we'll be in bed,
We're peculiar little folks, full of jollity and jokes,
And you ought to see us stand upon our head!
Tramp, tramp, tramp, we'll soon be marching,
We are going off to bed,
But before we leave you now,
Each of us will show you how
Little Mulligan can stand upon her head.
(_All disappear under sheet. They repeat chorus and hold up their arms
above the sheet. The arms are covered with stockings and shoes are on
their hands. They slap hands together, making feet dance, etc._)
Tramp, tramp, tramp, we'll soon be marching,
We are going off to bed,
But before we leave you now,
Each of us will show you how
Little Mulligan can stand upon her head.
(_Repeat._)
MRS. MULLIGAN (_from audience_). Nora! Bridget! Mary Ann! What do ye
mane! You'll kill yourselves entirely. (_Rushes to the stage, followed
by_ MRS. O'TOOLE.) If you stand on your head like that, all your
brains will rush down into your fate.
NORA (_head above curtain_). That's the way they did in the show.
(_All come out on stage._)
MRS. O'TOOLE. Well, well, well, wonders will never cease. Sure, I
niver spint such a fine Christmas Eve in all me life before.
MRS. MULLIGAN (_stands C. facing audience, surrounded by the ten
children._) Sure, I think we've had a fine Christmas celebration,
don't you? And before ye go let this sink down deep in your hearts and
minds--it doesn't take money and fine clothes and costly gifts to make
a fine Christmas at all, at all. All it takes is loving hearts and
loving hands, and merry faces of happy boys and girls. We didn't have
any money--but you see what a lovely time we've had--and it's all
because the spirit of Christmas was in our hearts--and the spirit of
Christmas means love, and love is the greatest thing in all the world.
Merry Christmas to all of yeez, and may ye never regret the time you
spent Christmas Eve with the ten little Mulligans.
CURTAIN.
NOTES TO THE MANAGER.
WHERE THE MULLIGANS LIVED.
The scenery is very simple or may be dispensed with entirely.
Entrances R. and L. and a window at the rear are necessary. An old
table stands in front of the window, and a larger table, also old,
stands down R. Several soap boxes are down L. and these with an
upturned bucket serve as seats for the Mulligans.
An old rag carpet covers the floor. A wash-tub, with wash-board,
clothes, etc., stand at C. Two rickety chairs are on the stage, one
R.C. and one L.C., the latter a rocking-chair. The larger table is
covered with a well worn red cloth and supports an old-fashioned
lighted lamp.
Several tin cans, filled with bright flowers, stand on the table in
front of the window. Curtains or bed comforts are draped over the door
at R. An old sofa stands up L. Colored prints adorn the walls.
A clothes line runs across the stage at rear. On this line several
garments are drying, bright stockings, a union suit, red flannels,
etc. Remember the scene is laid in Mulligan Alley and the stage must
be arranged according to Mulligan taste.
WHAT THE MULLIGANS WORE.
MRS. MULLIGAN--Powdered hair, parted in middle and combed over ears,
somewhat unkempt. Well worn, old-fashioned cloth waist, with sleeves
rolled up and open in the neck. Skirt of contrasting color. The skirt
is turned up, showing flannel petticoat. Unstarched and rather soiled
dark gingham apron, of ample proportions, but without bib. Hair
twisted in knob at the back of head. Large, old shoes.
MATSY and PATSY--Long, tattered trousers, old suspenders, large, well
worn shoes, calico shirts, torn and patched. Bright calico neckties.
Caps. In Act III Matsy wears a large black mustache, a long black
coat, much too large, and a stiff hat three sizes too big, while Patsy
wears the dwarf's tunic and has his face made up yellow, with rouge on
cheeks.
TEDDY and MICKY--Short trousers, well worn and patched. Striped
stockings. Old shirts.
NORA and BRIDGET--Ankle skirts, waists of a different color. Bright
calico bows. Large hair ribbons.
MARY ANN, MELISSA and CLARISSA--Short skirts. Striped stockings. Old
shoes. Funny hats and waists.
PETER PAN--Calico slip. Baby's hat.
MRS. O'TOOLE--Old-fashioned walking dress of bright colors. Shawl and
little bonnet. Red wig, if desired.
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