KITTY (_sighs, then takes hat and box_). Very well, Mrs. Googin. Thank you so much. MRS. GOOGIN. And now I'll be goin' back to the basement. I hope ye have a pleasant time at yer party, mum. KITTY. Thank you, Mrs. Googin. MRS. GOOGIN. Are you goin' to fix yerself up like a circus clown, too? KITTY. Oh, no. I'm to be Pierrette. MRS. GOOGIN. Pierrette, is it? Well, look out ye don't git pinched. Merry Christmas. (_Exit R._) _Enter_ WARREN _from L._ WARREN. Kittens, there's a poor beggar woman out on the back steps. Can't you find something for her? KITTY. No, I haven't a thing. (_Sees hat box._) Oh, yes, I have! Tell her to come in. (_Exit_ WARREN _at L._) Now, I'll be rid of my Christmas hoodoo. (_Puts hat in box._) _Enter_ HARD TIMES ANNIE _from L., weeping loudly._ ANNIE. Oh, oh! On Christmas day! Just to think of it. Oh! (_Wails._) KITTY. What is it, my good woman? What's the matter? ANNIE. Oh, mum, it's starving I am. A poor lone widow with sivin little children huddled up in the straw in a stable. No fire have we, no coal have we, no food have we. And on Christmas day, too. (_Cries._) Could ye let me have a little money, mum? KITTY (_looks in her purse and shows audience that it is empty._) No, I haven't any money. ANNIE. And it's such hard times we're having. With the cost of living so high and me with sivin children. No fire have we, no coal have we, no food have we. KITTY. I'm so sorry for you. ANNIE. Thank ye kindly, mum. And can you help me a little? KITTY. How would you like a nice winter hat? It's perfectly new and has never been worn. It's red and orange. ANNIE. Oh, lady, yer a fallen angel, so yer are, fallen right down from the skies. I'd rather have a nice winter hat than have a bushel of coal. KITTY. There it is. And merry Christmas. ANNIE. Thank you, mum. Has it got flowers on it or feathers? KITTY. Feathers. ANNIE. Oh, thank ye. Yer a fallen angel; indade ye are, mum. KITTY. You'd better go out this way. (_Points to R._) I don't want my husband to see what I've given you. ANNIE. I know how it is, mum. I've had two of 'em meself. But nather one was a circus clown, mum. I suppose that makes 'em bad-tempered. KITTY. Yes, I suppose so. Good-bye. ANNIE (_crosses to door R._). Merry Christmas, mum. And bless ye for what ye have done for me this day. Yer a fallen angel, mum; indeed yer are. (_Exits R._) _Enter_ WARREN _from L._ WARREN. Get rid of her? KITTY. Yes. Gave her some little things. Now I must hurry and dress. How nice you look. I'll be ready in ten minutes. (_Exit L._) (_Ring at bell R._) WARREN (_opens the door, admitting_ LAURA). Hello, Lolly. LAURA. Are you all ready? WARREN. Kittens has just started to dress. Did you get the tickets? LAURA. Yes. Here they are. Jim's waiting for me. WARREN (_takes the two tickets_). Thank you. LAURA. I had an awful time getting the places reserved. WARREN. Ten dollars, aren't they? LAURA. Yes. WARREN. Just a minute, till I get the money. Sit down. Kittens has the money. (_Exit L._) LAURA (_calls after him_). Hurry, please, Warren. WARREN (_outside_). All right. LAURA _crosses to R. and sits. She takes up the fashion magazine and reads a moment. Rises impatiently and walks around the room, showing marked impatience. After a pause_ KITTY _enters from L. wearing a kimono._ KITTY. Laura! LAURA. Yes, dear. KITTY. That hat I gave you! LAURA. The hat? KITTY. Yes, the one I gave you for Christmas. Warren had just given it to me as a present, and as it wasn't becoming to me so I gave it to you. Where is it? LAURA. Why? KITTY. He put ten dollars in it at the millinery shop. It was hidden in the lining. The ten dollars for the tickets. LAURA. Good heavens! KITTY. So that pays you for the tickets, doesn't it? LAURA. But I gave it away. KITTY. Why, Laura! LAURA. It wasn't becoming to me, either. I gave it to Eddie. KITTY (_weakly_). To Eddie? LAURA. Of course I didn't know it had ten dollars hidden in the lining. KITTY. I didn't think you'd treat my present that way. LAURA. Now, Kittens-- KITTY (_angrily_). Gave it to the negro elevator boy. Well, I like that! That hat cost ten dollars. LAURA. I never could have worn it. KITTY. But you shouldn't have given it away. LAURA. Warren gave it to you and you gave it away. KITTY. That's different. LAURA. Shall I explain to Warren? KITTY. No; for goodness sakes, don't do that! I haven't a cent to my name and I can't explain to Warren. How can I tell him I gave his Christmas present away? LAURA. Send for Eddie and make him give you the ten dollars. KITTY. Eddie hasn't got it. LAURA. What did he do with it? KITTY. I don't know. A beggar woman has the hat now. I saw her with it. LAURA. Then she has the ten dollars. KITTY. Laura, you'll have to trust me until the first of the month. LAURA (_coldly_). Oh, very well. It's of no importance. KITTY. Now, Laura-- LAURA (_crosses to door R._). In the future I'd advise you to keep your Christmas presents. I must go now. Jim is waiting for me. KITTY. Lolly-- LAURA. We'll probably see you at the dinner. (_Exit R._) KITTY (_crying_). I'll never give another present away as long as I live. WARREN (_outside L._). Hurry, Kittens; it's almost time to go. KITTY. In a minute. (_Exits L._) _Enter_ EDDIE _from R., followed by_ MISS MINERVA. _She carries the hat in her hand._ MISS M. That will do, boy. Mr. Williams is my nephew. I'll find him. EDDIE. Lawdy, now she's got de hat. (_Exits R._) _Enter_ WARREN _from L._ WARREN (_to_ MISS M.). I beg pardon? MISS M. Heavens! WARREN. What's the matter? MISS M. I thought you were a ghost. WARREN. I am Mr. Williams. MISS M. You are? (Drops everything, runs to him and shakes both his hands heartily.) Don't you know me? WARREN. No; never saw you before in my life. MISS M. I'm your Aunt Minerva. WARREN. Not Aunt Minerva Mockridge from Kankakee? MISS M. (_positively_). Aunt Minerva Mockridge from Kankakee. WARREN. But I thought you said you weren't coming. MISS M. I changed my mind. And I wanted to surprise you and Kitty. WARREN. Well, you did. You've surprised us all right. MISS M. Let me sit down. I've had such an adventure. (Holds up hat.) See what I brought you? WARREN. A hat? MISS M. Yes, what's left of it. WARREN. It looks just like the one I gave Kittens for a Christmas present. MISS M. I got out of the taxi at the corner and was walking along trying to find the house when all of a sudden I heard a great commotion down the street behind me. I turned around and just then a man darted right at me, slapped the hat in my hand and was off like the wind. A crowd of policemen were chasing him. I slipped into the vestibule of a building and luckily it was this house. _Enter_ EDDIE _and_ HOGAN _from R._ EDDIE. You can't come in yere. Not unless you got a search warrant. HOGAN. I saw her run into the vestibule, boy--and I'll find her if I have to search every apartment from piano to ice-box. (_Sees_ MISS M.) There she is now. That woman just came up in the elevator, didn't she? EDDIE. Yassir, boss; dat's de one. HOGAN (_goes to_ MISS M.). Come on with me. I guess I've got you at last. MISS M. What do you mean? WARREN. Officer, this lady is my aunt. I am Mr. Williams, the owner of this apartment. HOGAN (_to_ EDDIE). Is that man the owner of this apartment? EDDIE. Yessir, boss; dat's Mr. Williams. HOGAN. And you say this lady is your aunt? MISS M. Of course I'm his aunt. HOGAN. That'll do you! Keep still or I'll put the bracelets on ye. WARREN. Well, she _said_ she was my aunt. HOGAN. Have ye ever seen her before? WARREN. No, sir. HOGAN (_turns to_ EDDIE _at R._). Ye hear? He thinks she's his aunt and yet he niver seen her before. This woman is a crook. One of the worst in the country. She's old Boston Bell and is wanted in Omaha for highway robbery, in Salt Lake for arson, in Chicago for shoplifting, in Columbus for assault and battery, and in New York for receiving stolen goods. WARREN. And I thought she was my Aunt Minerva. MISS M. (_at L.C._). Warren Williams, are you going to let that man stand there and insult me? Throw him out of your house. HOGAN (_C._). I was standing on me beat when I saw Dopey Daniel snatch a swell hat from a poor old woman. She screams and he hot-foots it down the street with me after him. This dame was standing at the corner. She was working with him. He saw we had him all right, so he slipped the hat to her and she made a getaway up the elevator. Come on, Boston Bell. I've got you with the goods on you. I want that hat for evidence. Now will you come easy or must I use the cuffs? (_Pulls her to door R._) MISS M. (_screams_). Kitty, Kitty! Help, help! _Enter_ KITTY _from R._ KITTY. Aunt Minerva! (_Rushes to her and embraces her._) What is the meaning of all this? AUNT M. (_at R., weeping_). Oh, Kitty, Kitty, I'm arrested. On my first visit to New York. Oh, why did I ever leave Kankakee? KITTY. Warren, make him release her. HOGAN. Are you sure she's your aunt? KITTY. Of course I am. Why, we have her picture. There it is. Oh, no--I'd forgotten. HOGAN. I believe the whole gang of yeez is a bunch of crooks. Yeez look like crooks, all drissed up like clowns and things. KITTY. Eddie, call the janitor. EDDIE. Here he comes now. _Enter_ GOOGIN _from R. with_ MRS. GOOGIN. HOGAN. Maginnis Googin, is it yerself? GOOGIN. What's goin' on here, Hogan. Who's been pinched? HOGAN. This dame is Boston Bell. We got her with the goods. She stole a hat. KITTY. Why, that's my hat. Isn't it, Warren? WARREN. I thought it looked familiar. (_Takes hat._) Yes, that's your hat. (_Takes two five-dollar bills from the lining._) Now, I know it's your hat. KITTY. But where did you get it, Aunt Minerva? MISS M. Some man ran into me in the street and left it in my hand. GOOGIN. Hogan, sure I think you've made a mistake. HOGAN. Do you know these folks, Googin? MRS. GOOGIN. I know them, Officer Hogan. It's the Williamses, and they're both perfect ladies. And I'm a lady, and so was me mother before me. GOOGIN. Hush, Honoria. Ye've been drinkin' too much frozen egg nog. MRS. GOOGIN (_crying_). And the ould lady that ye've pinched, sure I blave it's me ould mother from Kilkenny, Ireland. Oh, Maginnis, they've pinched me ould mother. GOOGIN. It's all a mistake, Hogan. HOGAN (_to_ MISS M.). Ye say a man ran into you in the street and left this hat in your hand? MISS M. Yes, sir. HOGAN (_to_ KITTY). And you say it's your hat? KITTY. Of course it is. WARREN (_goes to_ HOGAN, _gives him a five-dollar bill_). I think that will be all, officer. Merry Christmas. HOGAN. Merry Christmas to all of yeez. (_Exits L., followed by_ EDDIE.) KITTY. Mrs. Googin, this is my aunt, Miss Mockridge from Kankakee. MRS. GOOGIN. Sure, I thought it was me ould mother from Kilkenny. Ye look enough like her to be her own twin sister, ye do. GOOGIN. I came up to inform yeez that the taxi do be waiting. MISS M. Taxi? Are you going out? KITTY (_looks at_ WARREN). Well--er--that is--er we-- WARREN. Yes, er--we thought you weren't coming. MISS M. Where are you going? KITTY. We were going to a masquerade dinner dance, but now that you've come we'll stay at home. GOOGIN (_to_ MISS M.). Ye'd better go to the dance, mum. Ye'll have the time of yer life. Faith, they've nothin' like it in Kankakee. Come on, Honoria. MRS. GOOGIN. All of yeez come down and take tea wid me in the marnin' fer breakfast. Merry New Year and happy Christmas to all. I'm a lady and me mother was a lady before me, and I knows a lady whin I sees her. So I wish yeez all a happy Christmas and many of them. (_Exits R. with_ GOOGIN.) WARREN. Shall I send the taxi away, Kittens? MISS M. I should say not. I'm going to that masquerade ball, if it's the last thing I ever do. That's why I came to New York. (_Takes out purse._) Here's a hundred and twenty dollars. That's enough to see us through until breakfast, isn't it? KITTY. We mustn't keep the taxi waiting. Come on, auntie. We're going to show you the time of your life. MISS M. But I haven't any costume. KITTY (_puts the hat on her head_). There you are. Now you're all fixed. I knew I could make some use of my Christmas hat. Hurry, Warren. (They hurry out R. as curtain falls.) CURTAIN. NOTES ON THE PRODUCTION. This little satire on Christmas giving has been written to provide forty-five minutes of amusement for a holiday audience. The stage settings are very simple, a room with two doors being all that is required. COSTUMES. WARREN--A brisk young business man of about twenty-five. Ordinary winter suit for first entrance. Change to white Pierrot costume with white pumps, white socks, white pajama suit with large black pompons, or discs of black satin, on it. Large stiff ruff of white tulle. Face whitened with grease paint. Black patches. Black satin half-mask in hand. Head covered with close fitting white covering in Pierrot style. KITTY--A bright, vivacious young wife of twenty-two. Afternoon dress at first, but choose one that may be quickly changed. Changed to kimono as indicated in text. On last entrance she wears a Pierrette costume, white pumps, hose, white tulle dress with very full skirts, ankle length. White clown cap. The dress may be trimmed with black satin discs, or pompons, or toy balloons in festoons, as desired. MISS MINERVA--Aged forty-five. Gray hair. Spectacles. Dark traveling cloak and hat. Grip. She discards cloak and hat when Hogan releases her, showing a very gay dress beneath. Faint gray wrinkles of grease paint on face. GOOGIN--Irish janitor. Red wig and whiskers all around face. Face reddened. White grease paint on upper lip. Red eyebrows. Old suit and cardigan jacket. MRS. GOOGIN--Portly lady in gaudy dress of calico. Gray hair, parted. Green bows on costume. Face red and lined with gray grease paint. Use a decided Irish brogue. EDDIE--Negro elevator boy. Face blackened with burnt cork. Uniform much too small for him. Negro wig. LAURA--Afternoon dress for first entrance. No hat, as she lives in the same apartment house. Masquerade costume and opera cloak for last entrance. HOGAN--Irish policeman. Uniform, helmet, billie, etc. ANNIE--Old shoes, very ragged dress, old gray shawl on head. Straggling locks of white hair show beneath shawl. Red patches. Face heavily lined with gray grease paint. Very old and dirty apron. Dances, Drills and Story-Plays By NINA B. LAMKIN _Director of Normal Course in Physical Education at Northwestern School of Oratory and Physical Education, Evanston, Ill._ [Illustration] Fourteen Folk Dances of various countries, suitable for schools, clubs, churches, settlements, etc. Twenty-six simple AEsthetic Dances, as Dances of the Seasons, Flower Dances, Brownies, Fairies, Bluebirds, etc. Twenty-four Drills for every day and holidays, unusual, artistic and worth while. Forty-one Rhythms and twelve Story-Plays to be used with primary ages in every-day recreation, in dramatization and in entertainments. There is something in this book to fit any occasion where such material is desired. For Boy Scouts, Camp Fire Girls, Gymnasium Work, Play Festivals, Field Days, etc. Everything fully described. Suggestive music named and description of costumes given. Contains eight original photographs, half-toned, of various dances. =Beautiful cloth binding, lettering and design in two colors, clear, attractive type. Price, $1.25= =T.S. Denison & Company, Publishers= 623 S. Wabash Ave. CHICAGO Merry Monologues By MARY MONCURE PARKER [Illustration] These selections are wholly original and sufficiently varied in character and sentiment to enable the reader to make up a well-rounded program in which high comedy mingles with farce and pathos in a manner suitable for all occasions. Nineteen monologues and nine short poems which are especially adapted to that particular form of entertainment called the pianologue, viz., reading to music. Some of the selections are new but most of them are the pick from the author's wide repertoire, which she has used throughout this country and in England. They bear the stamp of enthusiastic public approval and are now first offered to the public. =Contents:= On the Street Car; The Renaissance of the Kiss; Husbands Is Husbands; Oh, Friend of Mine; George's First Sweetheart; Bobby and the New Baby; Lucile Gets Ready for a Dance; Mandy's Man and Safety First; Maggie McCarthy Goes on a Diet; Mrs. Climber Doesn't Like Notoriety; Lucindy Jones Expects a Legacy; Grown Folks Is so Awful Queer; At the Movies; The Gingie Boy; Ode to a Manikin; Isaacstein's Busy Day; Like Pilgrims to the Appointed Place; Mrs. Bargain Counter Meets a Friend; Mother Mine; Maggie McCarthy Has Her Fortune Told; In Vaudeville; Uncle Jim and the Liniment; The Funny Story; In the Milliner Shop; Mrs. Trubble's Troubles; George's Cousin Willie; When Lucindy Goes to Town; A Question. =Beautiful cloth binding, lettering and design in two colors, clear, attractive type. Price, $1.25= =T.S. Denison & Company, Publishers= 623 S. Wabash Ave. CHICAGO Let's Pretend A Book of Children's Plays By LINDSEY BARBEE [Illustration] "Come--let's pretend!" has been the slogan of all childhood. A few gay feathers have transformed an everyday lad into a savage warrior; a sweeping train has given a simple gingham frock the dignity of a court robe; the power of make-believe has changed a bare attic into a gloomy forest or perhaps into a royal palace. These six plays will appeal to the imagination, to the fun-loving nature and to the best ideals of all children. CONTENTS.--The Little Pink Lady (6 Girls); The Ever-Ever Land (16 Boys, 17 Girls); When the Toys Awake (15 Boys, 5 Girls); The Forest of Every Day (5 Boys, 7 Girls); A Christmas Tree Joke (7 Boys, 7 Girls); "If Don't-Believe Is Changed Into Believe" (21 Boys, 15 Girls). Full descriptions for producing; easy to costume and "put on." Clever illustrations showing the appearance of each character. The most charming children's plays ever written. =Beautiful cloth binding, lettering and design in two colors, attractive type.= =Price, $1.25= =T.S. Denison & Company, Publishers= 623 S. Wabash Ave. CHICAGO Impromptu Magic, with Patter By GEORGE DE LAWRENCE [Illustration] A supreme collection of clever, off-hand tricks that can be presented with little or no practice, require no sleight-of-hand skill and are independent of any apparatus. The only articles called for are ordinary coins, cards, matches, etc., such as are always at hand. An excellent line of patter, in which humor predominates, is included for each trick and there are numerous illustrations. Among the many clever but easy effects taught may be mentioned the lemon and dollar bill trick without sleight-of-hand, several baffling mind reading effects, card in the pocket, vanishing drinking glass, penetrating match, traveling coins, four-coin trick, coins out of hat, dime and penny trick, swallowing a knife, torn and restored paper napkin, etc. Dr. A.M. Wilson, editor of "The Sphinx," who contributes the introduction, says: "Many books and booklets on patter, numerous works, little and big, on magic, have been published. But not until this work of DeLawrence has there been one that covered both, and with material that anyone of reasonable intelligence could use successfully and satisfactorily. Having read the manuscript I congratulate the author on his wise selection of tricks and on the sensible and appropriate patter." =Attractively bound in art boards, fully illustrated, well printed on good paper.= =Price, $1.00= =T.S. Denison & Company, Publishers= 623 South Wabash Avenue CHICAGO Winning Monologues By LILIAN HOLMES STRACK [Illustration] For contests and public speaking. Eighteen splendid original selections for platform use in book form. The author has successfully portrayed various "types" in their most human and amusing aspects, and presents each monologue in a form that complies with the contest rules generally prevalent. Each of these readings is a real cross-section of life. The humor is essentially human, and not merely witty. Various types of human beings are represented, all in a fashion that has a sure appeal to any audience. The book is invaluable for professional entertainers as well as for contest use. CONTENTS.--Johnny Gets Ready for Company; Aunt Polly at the Rural Aid Society; The Strap-Hangers; Little Maymie Attends the Movies; The Cheerful Laundress; John Tells a Bedtime Story; Aunt Polly Has Callers; Just Mary Louise; Friday Afternoon in Our School; When Edna Telephones; Johnny Does His Home Work; Look Pleasant, Please! Little Maymie Visits the City; In the Dark of the (Honey) Moon; The Punishment of Mary Louise; Practicing Domestic Science, or How Girls Cook; On Contest Night; The Telephone Exchange at Junction Center. =Beautiful cloth binding, lettering and design in two colors, attractive type.= =Price, $1.25= =T.S. Denison & Company, Publishers= 623 South Wabash Avenue CHICAGOPrev All
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