From the ArcaMax Publishing, Parents Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/parents/s-81120-138906
A few questions recently asked me by several people, including a
journalist, and my answers (these have been edited and modified for
clarity):
Question: In your writings and your talks, you claim that parenting is
common-sensical. Can you explain what you mean by that?
Answer: I think all God's creatures know how to properly raise their
young. If a certain creature did not possess that knowledge, the
species wouldn't survive. We humans have survived because we know how
to raise children. We knew how to be parents before there people like
me giving parenting advice. In fact, I think we did a generally better
job of raising children before there were people like me. Ironically,
I happen to believe, ironically, that parents will begin to regain the
common sense of raising children when they stop listening to people
like me. I think our collective commons sense concerning children has
been swamped by a tidal wave of psychobabble that's lasted some 40
years now.
Q: Are parents trying to be psychologists where their kids are
concerned?
A: Today's parents tend to think psychologically about their children.
A child does something that might be somewhat out of the ordinary, and
instead of just responding to it rather matter-of-factly, or ignoring
it, the child's parents will try to understand it. They try to
interpret it, to figure out what it supposedly means or represents.
That's psychological thinking, and it always leads parents into an
intellectual labyrinth inside of which things just get more and more
complicated and difficult. Children are simple. They wear their
emotions on their sleeves, and the reasons behind why they do the
sometimes odd things they do are not complex. Good parenting is done
through the heart, not the head. But today's parents try to do it
primarily through their heads. They think about it too much, and an
intellectual approach to child rearing simply doesn't work. It trips
you up.
Q: You seem to believe that it's more important for parents to
discipline properly than to have good relationships with their
children.
A: Well, that's a bit simplistic actually. I believe that discipline
is fundamentally leadership. I believe if you lead your child
properly, a good relationship will result. The problem with today's
parents is that all too many of them are putting the relationship
ahead of leadership, and that's like trying to get the cart to pull
the horse.
Q: Can you talk a bit more about discipline being leadership? That's a
new idea, isn't it?
A: No, it's not. Until relatively recently, parents understood that
the proper discipline of a child was accomplished through proper
leadership. The modern parent thinks proper discipline is accomplished
by manipulating reward and punishment. That's happened because today's
parents believe behavior modification will solve all of their
problems. Leadership, by contrast, is not a methodology. It's
primarily constituted of clear communication, decisiveness, and an
overriding ethic of doing what's best for others. Furthermore, the
principles of effective leadership are the same if you're leading a
child or if you're leading a group of employees in a corporate
environment. When parents begin understanding that, parenting will
become a simple thing again.
*About the Author: John Rosemond has written nine best-selling
parenting books and is one of America's busiest and most popular
speakers, known for his sound advice, humor and easy, relaxed,
engaging style. In the past few years, John has appeared on numerous
national television programs including 20/20, Good Morning America,
The View, Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect, Public Eye, The Today
Show, CNN, and CBS Later Today.
Click here to
visit Rosemond's Web site, www.rosemond.com.
Editor's Note from ArcaMax: ArcaMax also had the opportunity to
interview Rosemond recently and we will be publishing that Q. and A.
story in its entirety next Saturday. Also included will be a feature
story on a Rosemond speaking event that includes pictures. We'll also
have for you a parenting experts interactive quiz. The package will
include many more of Rosemond's views including thoughts on spanking,
myths surrounding ADHD and self-esteem.