Parents - Sylvia Rimm On Raising Kids: All Children Need Play

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Sylvia Rimm On Raising Kids: All Children Need Play

Sylvia Rimm

Q. I have a gifted kindergartner whose favorite form of entertainment is learning. He doesn't enjoy active games or toys, but only wants to learn. He loves going to museums, watching the history or science channels, reading books and going to classical music concerts. I have always tried to get him information on whatever he is interested in, whether it is a book, activity or taking him to a museum, but I wonder if this is spoiling him. If your child is only interested in educational things, do you make him wait for a special occasion to buy him a book or activity on the subject that he is currently interested in, or do you get him whatever he needs to learn because it's educational and he's learning?

A. I know you'll think it's surprising that I'm recommending that your son learn to play. While it's important for you to foster his love of learning and his many interests, sometimes it's all right to say that some things will have to wait. I don't mean that you have to limit the purchase of books he enjoys if he's truly reading them, but you must let him know that reading is not enough and it's good fun and good health to run and play. Whether it's imaginative play, game playing or physical activities -- all will help him to understand the world in different ways. Interacting with other children is as important for his child life as learning information. While I don't want you discourage his love of learning, your little guy is more than just a walking "brain" that absorbs information. He needs to share, create, compete, collaborate and care about other people in his life.

For a free newsletter about keys to parenting your gifted child, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read other parenting articles at www.sylviarimm.com.

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Boy's A Boy For Now

Q. My 8-year-old son is well-adjusted, has many friends, and is active in sports. He has positive male role models (father and older brother), yet he pretends to be a girl and says he wants to be a girl. I'm very concerned that he will be teased by other children. Should I be concerned about this? What should I say to him?

A. You need to tell your son that he's a boy for now, no matter how he feels. Sometimes boys who feel like girls decide to become women when they're older and if that's what he decides, you will understand and accept his decision at that time. If he likes to pretend he's a girl, he can do that in the privacy of his room anytime he'd like, but to do it in school or with friends will only cause him social problems. It's hard for other kids to understand his feelings because most kids have never had feelings like that.

Boys who feel more like girls in childhood sometimes identify themselves as homosexual or transgender when they mature. Sometimes they don't, but there's no hurry in your son deciding that now. Mostly, he needs to feel safe and loved by his parents and needs to get along reasonably well in his world of friends. It's great that he has many friends and is busy and active in sports. Enjoy him now as he is and hopefully he and you will also be able to love and value each other regardless of the gender direction he takes as an adult.

For free newsletters on raising boys or about how to use sports to encourage achievement, send a large, self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more parenting information.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Copyright 2008 Creators Syndicate Inc.

This news arrived on: 06/29/2008

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