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Memoirs of the Court of Louis XIV and the Regency

Duchesse d'Orleans

I would willingly have married the Prince of Orange, for by that union I
might have hoped to remain near my dear Electress (of Hanover).

Upon my arrival at Saint-Germain I felt as if I had fallen from the
clouds.  The Princess Palatine went to Paris and there fixed me.  I put
as good a face upon the affair as was possible; I saw very well that I
did not please my husband much, and indeed that could not be wondered at,
considering my ugliness; however, I resolved to conduct myself in such a
manner towards Monsieur that he should become accustomed to me by my
attentions, and eventually should be enabled to endure me.  Immediately
upon my arrival, the King came to see me at the Chateau Neuf, where
Monsieur and I lived; he brought with him the Dauphin, who was then a
child of about ten years old.  As soon as I had finished my toilette the
King returned to the old Chateau, where he received me in the Guards'
hall, and led me to the Queen, whispering at the same time,--"Do not be
frightened, Madame; she will be more afraid of you than you of her."  The
King felt so much the embarrassment of my situation that he would not
quit me; he sat by my side, and whenever it was necessary for me to rise,
that is to say, whenever a Duke or a Prince entered the apartment, he
gave me a gentle push in the side without being perceived.

According to the custom of Paris, when a marriage is made, all property
is in common; but the husband has the entire control over it.  That only
which has been brought by way of dowry is taken into the account; for
this reason I never knew how much my husband received with me.  After his
death, when I expected to gain my cause at Rome and to receive some
money, the disagreeable old Maintenon asked me in the King's name to
promise that if I gained the cause I would immediately cede the half of
the property to my son; and in case of refusal I was menaced with the
King's displeasure.  I laughed at this, and replied that I did not know
why they threatened me, for that my son was in the course of nature my
heir, but that it was at least just that he should stay until my death
before he took possession of my property, and that I knew the King was
too equitable to require of me anything but what was consistent with
justice.  I soon afterwards received the news of the loss of my cause,
and I was not sorry for it, on account of the circumstance I have just
related.

When the Abby de Tesse had convinced the Pope that his people had decided
without having read our papers, and that they had accepted 50,000 crowns
from the Grand Duke to pronounce against me, he began weeping, and said,
"Am I not an unhappy man to be obliged to trust such persons?"  This will
show what sort of a character the Pope was.

When I arrived in France I had only an allowance of a hundred louis d'or
for my pocket-money; and this money was always consumed in advance.
After my mother's death, when my husband received money from the
Palatinate, he increased this allowance to two hundred louis; and once,
when I was in his good graces, he gave me a thousand louis.  Besides
this, the King had given me annually one thousand louis up to the year
before the marriage of my son.  That supported me, but as I would not
consent to the marriage I was deprived of this sum, and it has never been
restored to me.  On my first journey to Fontainebleau, the King would
have given me 2,000 pistoles, but that Monsieur begged him to keep half
of them for Madame, afterwards the Queen of Spain.--[Marie-Louise
d'Orleans, born in 1662, married, in 1679, to Charles IL, King of Spain.]

I cared very little about it, and, nevertheless, went to Fontainebleau,
where I lost all my money at Hoca.  Monsieur told me, for the purpose of
vexing me, of the good office he had done me with the King; I only
laughed at it, and told him that, if Madame had chosen to accept the
thousand pistoles from my hands, I would very freely have given them to
her.  Monsieur was quite confused at this, and, by way of repairing the
offence he had committed, he took upon himself the payment of 600 louis
d'or, which I had lost over and above the thousand pistoles.

I receive now only 456,000 francs, which is exactly consumed within the
year; if, they could have given me any less they would.  I would not be
thought to make claims to which I am not entitled, but it should be
remembered that Monsieur has had the money of my family.

I was very glad when, after the birth of my daughter,

     [Elizabeth-Charlotte d'Orleans, born in 1676, married, in 1697, to
     the Duc de Lorraine.  Philippe d'Orleans, afterwards Regent of
     France, was born in 1674; there were no other children by this
     marriage.]

my husband proposed separate beds; for, to tell the truth, I was never
very fond of having children.  When he proposed it to me, I answered,
"Yes, Monsieur, I shall be very well contented with the arrangement,
provided you do not hate me, and that you will continue to behave with
some kindness to me."  He promised, and we were very well satisfied with
each other.  It was, besides, very disagreeable to sleep with Monsieur;
he could not bear any one to touch him when he was asleep, so that I was
obliged to lie on the very edge of the bed; whence it sometimes happened
that I fell out like a sack.  I was therefore enchanted when Monsieur
proposed to me in friendly terms, and without any anger, to lie in
separate rooms.

I obeyed the late Monsieur by not troubling him with my embraces, and
always conducted myself towards him with respect and submission.

He was a good sort of man, notwithstanding his weaknesses, which, indeed,
oftener excited my pity than my anger.  I must confess that I did
occasionally express some impatience, but when he begged pardon, it was
all forgotten.

Madame de Fiennes had a considerable stock of wit, and was a great joker;
her tongue spared no one but me.  Perceiving that she treated the King
and Monsieur with as little ceremony as any other persons, I took her by
the hand one day, and, leading her apart, I said to her, "Madame, you are
very agreeable; you have a great deal of wit, and the manner in which you
display it is pleasant to the King and Monsieur, because they are
accustomed to you; but to me, who am but just arrived, I cannot say that
I like it.  When any persons entertain themselves at my expense, I cannot
help being very angry, and it is for this reason that I am going to give
you a little advice.  If you spare me we shall be mighty good friends;
but if you treat me as I see you treat others, I shall say nothing to
you; I shall, nevertheless, complain of you to your husband, and if he
does not restrain you I shall dismiss him."

He was my Equerry-in-Ordinary.

She promised never to speak of me, and she kept her word.

Monsieur often said to me, "How does it happen that Madame de Fiennes
never says anything severe of you?"

I answered, "Because she loves me."

I would not tell him what I had done, for he would immediately have
excited her to attack me.

I was called sometimes 'Soeur Pacifique', because I did all in my power
to maintain harmony between Monsieur and his cousins, La Grande
Mademoiselle,

     [Anne-Marie-Louise d'Orleans, Duchesse de Montpensier, and
     Marguerite-Louise d'Orleans, Duchess of Tuscany, daughters of
     Gaston, Duc d'Orleans, but by different wives.]

and La Grande Duchesse:

     [Charlotte-Eleonore-Maddleine de la Motte Houdancourt, Duchesse de
     Ventadour; she was gouvernante to Louis XV.]

they quarrelled very frequently, and always like children, for the
slightest trifles.

Madame de Ventadour was my Maid of Honour for at least sixteen years.
She did not quit me until two years after the death of my husband, and
then it was by a contrivance of old Maintenon; she wished to annoy me
because she knew I was attached to this lady, who was good and amiable,
but not very cunning.  Old Maintenon succeeded in depriving me of her by
means of promises and threats, which were conveyed by Soubise, whose son
had married Madame de Ventadour's daughter, and who was an artful woman.
By way of recompense she was made gouvernante.  They tried, also, to
deprive me of Madame de Chateau Thiers; the old woman employed all her
power there, too, but Madame de Chateau Thiers remained faithful to me,
without telling of these attempts, which I learnt from another source.

Madame de Monaco might, perhaps, be fond of forming very close
attachments of her own sex, and Madame de Maintenon would have put me on
the same footing; but she did not succeed, and was so much vexed at her
disappointment that she wept.  Afterwards she wanted to make me in love
with the Chevalier de Vendome, and this project succeeded no better than
the other.  She often said she could not think of what disposition I must
be, since I cared neither for men nor women, and that the German nation
must be colder than any other.

I like persons of that cool temperament.  The poor Dauphine of Bavaria
used to send all the young coxcombs of the Court to me, knowing that I
detested such persons, and would be nearly choked with laughter at seeing
the discontented air with which I talked to them.

Falsehood and superstition were never to my taste.

The King was in the habit of saying, "Madame cannot endure unequal
marriages; she always ridicules them."

Although there are some most delightful walks at Versailles, no one went
out either on foot or in carriages but myself; the King observed this,
and said, "You are the only one who enjoys the beauties of Versailles."

All my life, even from my earliest years, I thought myself so ugly that I
did not like to be looked at.  I therefore cared little for dress,
because jewels and decoration attract attention.  As Monsieur loved to be
covered with diamonds, it was fortunate that I did not regard them, for,
otherwise, we should have quarrelled about who was to wear them.  On
grand occasions Monsieur used formerly to make me dress in red; I did so,
but much against my inclination, for I always hated whatever was
inconvenient to me.  He always ordered my dresses, and even used to paint
my cheeks himself.

I made the Countess of Soissons laugh very heartily once.  She said to
me, "How is it, Madame, that you never look in a mirror when you pass it,
as everybody else does?"

I answered, "Because I have too great a regard for myself to be fond of
seeing myself look as ugly as I really am."

I was always attached to the King; and when he did anything disagreeable
to me it was generally to please Monsieur, whose favourites and my
enemies did all they could to embroil me with him, and through his means
with the King, that I might not be able to denounce them.  It was natural
enough that the King should be more inclined to please his brother than
me; but when Monsieur's conscience reproached him, he repented of having
done me ill offices with the King, and he confessed this to the King; His
Majesty would then come to us again immediately, notwithstanding the
malicious contrivances of old Maintenon.

I have always had my own household, although during Monsieur's life I was
not the mistress of it, because all his favourites derived a share of
profit from it.  Thus no one could buy any employment in my establishment
without a bribe to Grancey, to the Chevalier de Lorraine, to Cocard, or
to M. Spied.  I troubled myself little about these persons; so long as
they continued to behave with proper respect towards me, I let them
alone; but when they presumed to ridicule me, or to give me any trouble,
I set them to rights without hesitation and as they deserved.

Finding that Madame la Marechale de Clerambault was attached to me, they
removed her, and they placed my daughter under the care of Madame la
Marechale de Grancey, the creature of my, bitterest enemy, the Chevalier
de Lorraine, whose mistress was the elder sister of this very, Grancei.
It may be imagined how fit an example such a woman was for my daughter;
but all my prayers, all my, remonstrances, were in vain.

Madame de Montespan said to me one day that it was a shame I had no
ambition, and would not take part in anything.

I replied, "If a person should have intrigued assiduously to become
Madame, could not her son permit her to enjoy that rank peaceably?  Well,
then, fancy that I have become so by such means, and leave me to repose."

"You are obstinate," said she.

"No, Madame," I answered; "but I love quiet, and I look upon all your
ambition to be pure vanity."

I thought she would have burst with spite, so angry was she.  She,
however, continued,--

"But make the attempt and we will assist you."

"No," I replied, "Madame, when I think that you, who have a hundred times
more wit than I, have not been able to maintain your consequence in that
Court which you love so much, what hope can I, a poor foreigner, have of
succeeding, who know nothing of intrigue, and like it as little?"

She was quite mortified.  "Go along," she said, "you are good for
nothing."

Old Maintenon and her party had instilled into the Dauphine a deep hatred
against me; by their direction she often said very impertinent things to
me.  They hoped that I should resent them to the Dauphine in such manner
as to afford her reason to complain to the King of me, and thus draw his
displeasure upon me.  But as I knew the tricks of the old woman and her
coterie, I resolved not to give them that satisfaction; I only laughed at
the disobliging manner in which they treated me, and I gave them to
understand that I thought the ill behaviour of the Dauphine was but a
trick of her childhood, which she would correct as she grew older.  When
I spoke to her she made me no reply, and laughed at me with the ladies
attendant upon her.

"Ladies," she once said to them, "amuse me; I am tired;" and at the same
time looked at me disdainfully.  I only smiled at her, as if her
behaviour had no effect upon me.

I said, however, to old Maintenon, in a careless tone, "Madame la
Dauphine receives me ungraciously; I do not intend to quarrel with her,
but if she should become too rude I shall ask the King if he approves of
her behaviour."

The old woman was alarmed, because she knew very well that the King had
enjoined the Dauphine always to behave politely to me; she begged me
immediately not to say a word to the King, assuring me that I should soon
see the Dauphine's behaviour changed; and indeed, from that time, the
Dauphine altered her conduct, and lived upon much better terms with me.
If I had complained to the King of the ill treatment I received from the
Dauphine he would have been very angry; but she would not have hated me
the less, and she and her old aunt would have formed means to repay me
double.

Ratzenhausen has the good fortune to be sprung from a very good family;
the King was always glad to see her, because she made him laugh; she also
diverted the Dauphine, and Madame de Berri liked her much, and made her
visit her frequently.  It is not surprising that we should be good
friends; we have been so since our infancy, for I was not nine years old
when I first became acquainted with her.  Of all the old women I know,
there is not one who keeps up her gaiety like Linor.

I often visited Madame de Maintenon, and did all in my power to gain her
affections, but could never succeed.  The Queen of Sicily asked me one
day if I did not go out with the King in his carriage, as when she was
with us.  I replied to her by some verses (from Racine's Phedre).

Madame de Torci told this again to old Maintenon, as if it applied to
her, which indeed it did, and the King was obliged to look coldly on me
for some time.

During the last three years of his life I had entirely gained my husband
to myself, so that he laughed at his own weaknesses, and was no longer
displeased at being joked with.  I had suffered dreadfully before; but
from this period he confided in me entirely, and, always took my part.
By his death I saw the result of the care and pains of thirty years
vanish.  After Monsieur's decease, the King sent to ask me whither I
wished to retire, whether to a convent in Paris, or to Maubuisson, or
elsewhere.  I replied that as I had the honour to be of the royal house
I could not live but where the King was, and that I intended to go
directly to Versailles.  The King was pleased at this, and came to see
me.  He somewhat mortified me by saying that he sent to ask me whither I
wished to go because he had not imagined that I should choose to stay
where he was.  I replied that I did not know who could have told His
Majesty anything so false and injurious, and that I had a much more
sincere respect and attachment for His Majesty than those who had thus
falsely accused me.  The King then dismissed all the persons present,
and we had a long explanation, in the course of which the King told me
I hated Madame de Maintenon.  I confessed that I did hate her, but only
through my attachment for him, and because she did me wrong to His
Majesty; nevertheless, I added that, if it were agreeable to him that I
should be reconciled to her, I was ready to become so.  The good lady was
not prepared for this, or she would not have suffered the King to come to
me; he was, however, so satisfied that he remained favourable to me up to
his last hour.  He made old Maintenon come, and said to her, "Madame is
willing to make friends with you."  He then caused us to embrace, and
there the scene ended.  He required her also to live upon good terms with
me, which she did in appearance, but secretly played me all sorts of
tricks.  It was at this time a matter of indifference to me whether I
went to live at Montargis or not, but I would not have the appearance of
doing so in consequence of any disgrace, and as if I had committed some
offence for which I was driven from the Court.  I had reason to fear,
besides, that at the end of two days' journey I might be left to die of
hunger, and to avoid this risk I chose rather to be reconciled to the
King.  As to going into a convent, I never once thought of it, although
it was that which old Maintenon most desired.  The Castle of Montargis is
my jointure; at Orleans there is no house.  St. Cloud is not a part of
the hereditary property, but was bought by Monsieur with his own money.
Therefore my jointure produces nothing; all that I have to live on comes
from the King and my son.  At the commencement of my widowhood I was left
unpaid, and there was an arrear of 300,000 francs due to me, which were
not paid until after the death of Louis XIV.  What, then, would have
become of me if I had chosen to retire to Montargis?  My household
expenses amounted annually to 298,758 livres.

Although Monsieur received considerable wealth with me, I was obliged,
after his death, to give up to my son the jewels, movables, pictures--in
short, all that had come from my family; otherwise I should not have had
enough to live according to my rank and to keep up my establishment,
which is large.  In my opinion, to do this is much better than to wear
diamonds.

My income is not more than 456,000 livres; and yet, if it please God, I
will not leave a farthing of debt.  My son has just made me more rich by
adding 150,000 livres to my pension (1719).  The cause of almost all the
evil which prevails here is the passion of women for play.  I have often
been told to my face, "You are good for nothing; you do not like play."

If by my influence I can serve any unfortunate persons with the different
branches of the Government, I always do so willingly; in case of success
I rejoice; in a less fortunate event I console myself by the belief that
it was not the will of God.

After the King's death I repaired to St. Cyr to pay a visit to Madame de
Maintenon.  On my entering the room she said to me, "Madame, what do you
come here for?"

I replied, "I come to mingle my tears with those of her whom the King I
so much deplore loved most.--that is yourself, Madame."

"Yes, indeed," she said, "he loved me well; but he loved you, also."

I replied, "He did me the honour to say that, he would always distinguish
me by his friendship, although everything was done to make him hate me."

I wished thus to let her understand that I was, quite aware of her
conduct, but that, being a Christian, I could pardon my enemies.  If she
possessed any sensibility she must have felt some pain at thus.
receiving the forgiveness of one whom she had incessantly persecuted.

The affair of Loube is only a small part of what I have suffered here.

I have now no circle, for ladies a tabouret--[Ladies having the
privilege of seats upon small stools in the presence.]--seldom come to
me, not liking to appear but in full dress.  I begged them to be present
as usual at an audience, which I was to give to the ambassador of Malta,
but not one of them came.  When the late Monsieur and the King were
alive, they were more assiduous; they were not then so much accustomed to
full dresses, and when they did not come in sufficient numbers Monsieur
threatened to tell the King of it.

But this is enough, as M. Biermann said, after having preached four hours
together.
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