Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

Six years ago, I got involved with a guy. It was brief, intense and ended terribly, with me devastated and hurt. I never received any acknowledgement that he'd been so callous.

Anyway, I wouldn't get involved with him again if he wanted to -- not out of spite, just lack of interest -- but I find myself resentful of his apparent happiness. He was recently married, and I keep thinking, "Why does he get to have that happiness and I don't?"

This, coming from an existentialist, who doesn't believe in things like karma.

Nevertheless, I am plagued by what feels like unfairness. He was cruel and now he seems to have one of the things I've wanted my entire conscious life. I suppose it seems strange that a brief interlude would affect me so profoundly, but I was honest and vulnerable with him -- the first time in a long time -- and given how quickly and absolutely I became an afterthought, I may as well have been Longfellow's crushed wild flower to him. It was terrible.

-- Moving On (or Not)

I don't think cruel people hit the lottery -- or, at least, my definition of it, which is a life of emotional intimacy.

Alternately, someone who received a comeuppance or two for bad deeds done, and grew from the experience, is capable of intimacy, but then it wouldn't be a lottery hit, it would be as deserved as anyone's happiness is. 

There's a shorter answer, of course -- the course of his life has no relation to or bearing on you. That's a connection your hurt feelings (and soft spot for romantic narratives?) are nagging you to make.

...continued