From the ArcaMax Publishing, Kathleen Parker Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/kathleenparker/s-345266-872483
WASHINGTON -- This year American consumers are expected to spend an
average of $138.63 each on flowers, cards and gifts for Mother's Day,
for a grand total of $15.8 billion.
That's a whole lotta hydrangeas.
Anna Jarvis never had such excess in mind when in 1914, her idea to
honor mothers resulted in Congress passing a joint resolution
establishing Mother's Day. In fact, she despised the commercialization
that followed and once was arrested for her rowdy protests. She merely
wanted to honor her own mother, who was considered a community hero
for her efforts after the Civil War toward improving sanitary
conditions and helping American families reconcile.
What Jarvis hated is now the norm. A mom who doesn't receive a card or
flowers is likely to feel let down. Then there are other mothers for
whom flowers are of little concern, who gather on Web sites to
exchange stories and sympathy for the sons and daughters lost to or
damaged by war.
One of those is Oklahoma's 2006 Mother of the Year, Cynde
Collins-Clark, about whom I've written previously in connection with
her son, Joe, an Iraq War veteran who returned from his tour of duty
in 2004 with severe post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Collins-Clark is a hero, too. Not only has she helped her son get back
on his feet, but she's done yeoman's work to help other veterans and
their families.
During a recent visit to Oklahoma City, I met with Joe and his mother,
a perky, blithe spirit whose eyes frequently well with tears. Joe is a
tall, clean-cut young man who wouldn't stand out in a crowd, but he's
not like other 24-year-olds. The day we met in a hotel restaurant was
one of the few times Joe, who kept his back to the wall, had left his
house since returning from Iraq. For nearly two years, he didn't even
leave his bedroom.
Although he is still disabled and unable to work, Joe is on the mend,
thanks in part to a booklet he has written for others. Available
through a Web site his mother created (VeteransFamiliesUnited.org),
"The Endless Journey Home" describes what PTSD looks like, how to find
help and how to navigate the Veterans Administration.
Both Joe and his mother, a licensed professional counselor, are quick
to note that the VA is full of caring, qualified people, but they
assert that "processes" within the bureaucracy need improvement.
For starters, most veterans have no idea how to enter the system. Once
inside, they'll likely discover that there aren't enough professionals
familiar with PTSD symptoms to properly diagnose the problem. Joe says
he was misdiagnosed twice -- with attention deficit disorder and
bipolar disorder -- and prescribed addictive medications that
exacerbated his depression and anxiety.
That experience prompted Collins-Clark to work toward expanding the
base of qualified counselors available to returning veterans, as well
as to push for more "in theater" counseling. Although military men and
women do have access to mental health counseling while in a war zone,
few take advantage of the service for fear of tarnishing their records
or losing their jobs.
Consequently, recognizing the trauma of war is often belated. Although
exact figures are hard to pin down, at least 20,000 Vietnam War
veterans are believed to have committed suicide (and possibly many
more who didn't leave notes). The suicide rate among Iraq veterans is
twice the rate among non-veterans, a CBS investigation recently found.
Help is on the way. A promising new initiative to connect veterans and
their families with free mental health counseling was recently
launched by Washington, D.C.-area psychologist Barbara V. Romberg.
Through a nonprofit group called Give an Hour (GiveanHour.org),
several hundred licensed psychologists, social workers and counselors
in 40 states have volunteered to donate at least one hour a week for a
year to veterans in need.
What Romberg and Collins-Clark are doing is what the senior Jarvis
might have done. And honoring that spirit is what Jarvis' daughter had
in mind when she first suggested that people attach a white carnation
to their lapel on the second Sunday in May.
Cards and flowers are nice, but $15.8 billion would go a long way
toward helping veterans and their families. In lieu of flowers,
perhaps a donation to a veterans group would be a more fitting bouquet
to honor all the mothers who have given their most precious gift to
the rest of us.
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Kathleen Parker's e-mail address is kparker@kparker.com