From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-392335-498449
Cindy McCain discovered that her husband's great great uncle, Gunther
McCain, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Tennessee
in 1889.
The only existing photograph shows him standing on the gallows. On the
back of the picture is this inscription: "Gunther McCain; horse thief.
Sent to Tennessee Prison 1883, escaped 1887. Robbed the Tennessee
Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged
in 1889."
After letting the Republican Party's large staff of professional image
consultants review this discovery, they took the following actions to
assist John's campaign to become our next president. They decided to
crop Gunther's picture, scan it in as an enlarged image, and edited it
with image processing software so that all that is seen in the final
picture is a head shot. Along with this enhanced photo, the
accompanying biographical sketch was sent to the Associated Press:
"Gunther McCain was a famous cattleman in early Tennessee history. His
business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian
assets and intimate dealings with the Tennessee railroad company.
Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at
a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his business
enterprise with the railroad. In 1887 he was a key player in a vital
investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889
Gunther regrettably died suddenly during an important civic function
held in his honor when the platform on which he was standing
collapsed."