From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-385756-222690
- AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
- Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten
tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing
beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.
- An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The
kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
- A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension
under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey
Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump
higher."
- A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for
giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann
reiterated the school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused
with the "zero-intelligence" policy.
- Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that
destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's
newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than
last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and
stole my new security system..."