From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-368085-400888
"Ralph Nader's in the news. Today, Ralph Nader attacked Barack Obama
for refusing to accept public financing for his campaign and said that
Obama was too closely tied to big business. Yeah, then the guy sitting
next to Nader on the park bench said, 'Shut up!'" --Conan O'Brien
"President Bush and Senator John McCain were both touring the
flood-damaged areas of Iowa this week, but they did not cross each
other's path. McCain said he didn't want to join up with Bush because
that might send the wrong message. Yeah, nothing turns voters off more
than people getting together for a noble cause." --Jay Leno
Do you like good news? President Bush has ordered now -- it's official
-- has ordered his troops now to find Osama Bin Laden. Yep boy, he
really jumped on that one, didn't he?" --David Letterman
"According to a Pentagon report this week, more than 1,000 nuclear
missile components in the U.S. arsenal are lost and cannot be located.
We can't even find our own weapons of mass destruction! Anyway, the
Air Force, in their defense ... said today, there's a big difference
between something being missing and just not being able to find it.
Which would be okay if you're talking about a pair of lost
sunglasses." --Jay Leno
"Last night, President Bush held a celebration at the White House
honoring jazz. ... Yeah. It was an awkward moment when Bush said,
'This is great. It's just like being in an elevator.'" --Conan O'Brien