From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-353848-940219
This is a list of comments from test papers, essays, etc., submitted
to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high
school, and college students: It is truly astonishing what weird
science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and
grades. The spellings are the original ones.
1. H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
2. To collect fumes
of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
3. When
you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
4.
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is water and gin.
5. A super saturated solution is
one that holds more than it can hold.
6. Liter: A nest of young
puppies.
7. Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead
cat.
8. Momentum: What you give a person when they are going
away.
9. Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
10. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow
instead of the bull.
11. The pistol of the flower is its only
protection against insects.
12. A fossil is an extinct animal.
The older it is, the more extinct it is.
13. To remove dust from
the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
14. For a nosebleed:
Put the nose much lower that the heart until the heart stops.
15. For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops
in your throat.
16. Germinate: To become a naturalized
German.
17. The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon.
All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the
moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this
fight.
18. Blood flows down one leg and up the the other.