From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-318950-198971
- At restaurant-gas stations throughout the nation: "Eat here and get
gas."
- At a Sante Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a
glass container."
- In a New Hampshire jewelry store: "Ears pierced while you wait."
- In an New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses
uncivil ought to see the manager."
- In a Michigan restaurant: "The early bird gets the worm! Special
shoppers' luncheon before 11:00 AM."
- On a delicatessen wall: "Our best is none too good."
- On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted
to the full extent of the law -- Sisters of Mercy"
- On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaning store: "Thirty-eight
years on the same spot."
- In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but
Sunday."
- On a movie theater: "Children's matinee today. Adults not admitted
unless with child."
- In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed!"
- In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."