From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-288429-696625
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you
don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get
off your butt and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she
gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If
you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a control
freak.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a
liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's
manipulation.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're self-centered.
If
you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't,
you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If
you're not, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you
don't love her anymore.