- My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.

- After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.

- Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

- Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

- I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

- I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

- Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

- Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

- So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

- After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

- I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

- My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

- I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

- My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!