From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-119348-826640
Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.
Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.
Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.
Fast learner: You will get no training from us.
Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.
Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing.
Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid
scheme.
Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide
territory.
Much client contact: You handle the phone or make "cold calls" on
clients.
Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed
limits.
Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or
chiropractors.
Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so
much work.
Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.
Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule
already.
Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and
letters.