ArcaMax

About now, we're all kicking ourselves. Why did we agree to host Thanksgiving dinner? The meal is the least of it, of course. There are so many dishes, towels and sheets to wash; so many other meals to plan for guests.

Why did millions of us -- 48.7 million of us to be exact, according to AAA's just-released forecast for Thanksgiving -- agree to drive hundreds of miles or fly thousands of miles over the busiest travel days of the year to eat too much and sleep on a futon or lumpy sofa bed?

Family. That's why we do it. And I mean anyone we consider family -- close friends, your "other mother," who always understood you better than your own mom, your mentor at work or school, the great uncle or grandparent who, sad to say, may not have too many more holidays left.

But just getting there can be a nightmare.

AAA reports that this year, more of us, over a million more, are expected to travel over Thanksgiving than last year -- the most Thanksgiving travelers since 2007.

One Tip: If you are flying (along with 3.69 million others, AAA says), get to the airport far earlier than you think necessary and look for designated family security lines. If you have time, sign up for TSA Pre, the federal government program that enables you -- and the kids -- to speed through expedited security lines without taking out your laptops, liquids or even taking off your shoes. Kids 12 and under traveling with a parent or guardian with a TSA Pre Check indicator on their boarding pass can go through the expedited line. (Apply online and schedule an in-person appointment at an enrollment center or airport. The cost is well worth $85 for five years. If you travel overseas, add Global Entry for $15 more for expedited processing through customs, though kids would need their own.)

There are plenty of other ways to de-stress the experience -- starting with this mantra: Embrace imperfection.

It won't be perfect. Not the food (but pies taste just as good if they don't look like Martha Stewart's). Not the kids' behavior, or the adults'. We're talking about family, after all. There will be squabbling cousins, know-it-all brothers-in-law, aunts who can't resist criticizing your cooking or child-rearing and bored teens who make it clear they would rather be anywhere else but where they are. Let's not forget the vegetarians, vegans and picky eaters who make every meal a challenge.

Never mind what we think these gatherings should be like -- or wish they were. The reality is young kids are discombobulated by travel, unfamiliar surroundings and too much sugar; grown-ups are discombobulated by travel, overeating and over-drinking. Keeping kids on some semblance of their regular schedule might help. Banning discussion of politics -- especially this year -- and any other topic that pushes your family's buttons ("Are you ever going to get a 'serious' job?" "If he was my child...") certainly will help.

Be mindful that a gathering can be especially difficult for a newly divorced family or a family that has recently suffered a loss, experts say, as well as for newly blended families. The worst thing to do is to force everyone to act like one big, happy family. The point is to make everyone feel comfortable.

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