Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."

I was born because my mother needed a fourth for meals.

My father was often angry when I was most like him.

You're dealing with the demon of external validation. You can't beat external validation. You want to know why? Because it feels sooo good.

When you were quite a little boy, somebody ought to have said "hush" just once.