Though I recognize that the alternative is much worse, getting older is for the birds. I hate the word "senior." I do enjoy senior discounts but can gladly renounce them for just a small amount of real respect -- and that includes in financial matters.

First, it seems there exist magic ages when your faculties diminish in the eyes of everyone in the world yet you remain completely unaware of the transition. Age 50 is the initial decrease, according to I don't know who. Or maybe it's the Internal Revenue Service, an agency not known for generosity, which when you flip the half-century mark suddenly lets you can kick extra money into a traditional individual retirement account.

That's the taxman's way of telling you the clock now truly ticks, I guess.

On the other hand, the AARP people believe life begins at 50. They also seem to believe that I was born stupid. For example, signing up for AARP's many services, from insurance to hotel discounts, ignites a long series of dispiriting solicitations. I requested information regarding auto insurance many years ago; I found the information useless but AARP pesters, annoys and depresses me about the subject to this day.

When you hit 59 1/2 , you can start to tap your various tax-deferred retirement plans, such as your IRA or 401(k), without the 10% penalty for premature distribution. If you attempt to use plan money prior to that magic age, taxes and penalties can cost more than 40% of your nest egg, especially in a state like California, where I live.

Next big age is 62, when your employer joins the lynch mob: "Why don't you think about retiring," your employer will seem to say, "so we can replace you with someone younger and, let's hear it, cheaper."

At 65 to 66, the plus becomes Medicare. The minus? If you make a financial decision, people call your mental capacity into question, as if to say, "Why are you bothering anymore?" If you purchase life insurance or any type of annuity that insures a future payout, your sanity appears suspect.

Yes, I'm aware that scammers target seniors with all sorts of unnecessary and impractical financial instruments -- but not this senior. Are these ages milestones or tombstones?

Debate rages regarding the beginning of life; clergy, politicians, the courts and just plain folks disagree. No such argument rages regarding the beginning of the end of your financial life. It's 70 1/2 , your time of final financial insult when almost every tax-sheltered retirement plan makes you begin taking required minimum distributions (RMDs) whether you want to or not.

Each year, the IRS (and they seemed so nice when you were 50 ... ) conveniently provides you with the percentage of your nest egg they demand that you receive -- and, with most types of retirement accounts, pay taxes on. You may not require or even want the cash. Too bad: Your new career is to deplete your savings steadily as you grow even older.

Your new, perhaps last, goal: Run out of money and life in the same year.

So do I still want that senior, gray-haired early bird special? Damn right I do. And yes I'm aware that we're having dinner at 4 p.m. Must I sign a form that I understand that too?

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Phillip Q. Shrotman is founder and president of Principal Planning Service, Inc. in Long Beach, Calif. He was a professor in the Business Division at Long Beach City College for over 29 years, where he held the position as Coordinator for Financial Planning and Insurance for the college. He holds a Community College Instructors Credential from the University of California at Los Angeles and a master's from the University of San Francisco. He also holds the profession designations of General Securities Principal of the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA), Series 7 and 24. He has appeared as a guest on KABC Talk Radio and various television and radio programs.

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