Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Not Visiting Mother With Alzheimer's

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

My mom has Alzheimer's and lives in an assisted living facility. I have siblings that never go to see her, and they claim she doesn't recognize them or wouldn't remember that they were there. Are those legitimate or logical excuses?

-- G.

If the whole point of visiting were for your mom to know her children cared for her, ...Read more

Snoring Is Killing My Marriage

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I got married earlier this year to a wonderful man. During the day, things are great. But at night, he snores loudly and keeps me awake. I've done everything I can to deal with it: I wear industrial earplugs, use a white noise machine, take sleep aids, and have been sleeping on the ...Read more

Uncomfortable With Arrangements

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I've been dating a woman steadily for four months. Late last year, she dated another man for about six weeks, and they were quickly intimate. Then he broke it off with her because he supposedly was still hung up over his ex. Then he contacted her with a phony apology and they again were intimate until he broke it off with her ...Read more

I Would Trust You More If I Didn't Find Your Methods So Questionable

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My wife and I live by two different schools of thought. I believe that if something is worth doing, it's worth doing right, and I put lots of time, energy and resources into things I plan. My wife believes the perfect is the enemy of the good, and will accomplish tasks in a way I feel ...Read more

Being There

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

About two months ago, one of my best friends told me she and her husband are officially getting a divorce (among other problems, he cheated). I told her I am of course there for her when she needs it. I can take a day off work and drive to her anytime; we live an hour apart and have ...Read more

Classic Jerk FiL in NYC

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My father-in-law is a classic jerk; he neglected and abused my husband throughout his childhood and teen years. By abuse I mean clobbering him with closed fists in anger until my husband was old enough to hit back. As adults we have little to do with him, and I've taken a laissez-faire approach to his belittling comments and ...Read more

Too Shy To Meet Friends

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I have been in a relationship for over 18 months with my girlfriend. We were invited to my friend's wedding, and I am in the wedding party. She has met some but not all of my friends, including the bride and groom.

She isn't someone who likes interaction with new people, and the idea ...Read more

Impending Explosion

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

Two close friends of mine have recently decided they want to explore a relationship together. Great! The problem? One was in a relationship and had to exit it to pursue these newfound feelings.

As her relationship was never one that anyone felt was healthy, we're happy she broke up with her significant other. However I think it...Read more

Growing Apart

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Honest question and not trying to start a war! I'm a single, childless woman in my 30s. A majority of my friends and family members are parents to some amazing kids who I love.

Whenever there is a group get-together, the conversation almost always turns to breastfeeding, pregnancy ...Read more

Being Too Judgy

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

I have a friend who, by most any measure, has a lot to be thankful for. She has two lovely children and a husband. She's able to work only part time (though she hasn't gone back since child No. 2). They own their home outright and just bought a second in a beach neighborhood where they'll move once they remodel it. They travel ...Read more

Mom's Moved On

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I am having a hard time dealing with my mom and her new boyfriend. My dad passed away last year, and I am an (adult) only child. I know this loss affected her, but I don't think she's taken any time to see how the loss has affected ME.

I motored along for the first eight months or so ...Read more

Pre-Wedding Blues

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My wedding is in about six weeks, and I am feeling the crush of family, emotions, to-do lists, and keeping up my regular life. Lately, I've caught myself feeling weepy for no good reason. Not just wedding things, but today, while listening through a couple of music samples, I became so ...Read more

Lonely and Worried

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I have been in a relationship for six years. From the outset it was a long-distance situation, as she was often off on extended work-related projects, but we had a very strong connection when together. We have been making plans that would mean my following her to her long-term posting. She has also been my best friend for all ...Read more

Plus-One Problem

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

A good friend of mine, "Lori," lives out of town. We don't see each other much anymore (she's super busy with school, so visits are few and far between), but we keep in touch.

My wedding is coming up, and though it seems pretty large (over 100 people), 95 percent of those invited were ...Read more

What to Do

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My daughter graduates high school in June, and I informed our family of the date this past September.

My stepmother called a couple of weeks ago and informed me that my dad was coming to the graduation and it would be a sacrifice, because he has a bad back and can barely walk as of late. She said she couldn't come because a co...Read more

Taken Advantage Of

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

When my husband first moved in with me while we were dating, he was a weekend-laundry guy. I work from home and like having my weekends free for play, so I offered to do his laundry when I do mine.

At first, he was immensely grateful and was OK with my occasional bad habit of ...Read more

Mired in Self-Absorption

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

How can I approach lunch with my self-absorbed sister who is visiting from out of town when I am in the midst of separating from my self-absorbed husband? I probably won't mention my separation because she will have a random friend with her. What can I say to myself to keep from screaming?

-- Mired in Self-Absorption

No ...Read more

Smothering Mother-In-Law

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I have a mother-in-law like the one in Monday's column. She has in the past made me feel smothered. Over the years I have realized that she is pretty much acting on "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" -- that is, she is a huge extrovert, hates being alone, and would love...Read more

How to Be Close

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi Carolyn:

I've upset my daughter-in-law deeply, but am not sure exactly why. She is a stay-at-home mom. She kindly offered to watch their 16-month-old son for the long weekend while my husband and son went on a special father-son hike for my husband's birthday. I thought this would be a wonderful ...Read more

Sad in Chicago

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hello, Carolyn:

After two years of dating and now nearly two years of living together, my boyfriend can't seem to stop ogling women. Almost from the beginning, he has taken to giving women in his line of vision a good up and down look -- sometimes in the middle of our conversations. He thinks it's jealousy that makes me so upset when ...Read more

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