Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

No Sex With Spouse for Years

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

Should I be worried that my wife and I have had no sex for literally years? I am guessing it is at least three years. Not even heavy make-out sessions. It just seems that my wife has no interest. I am afraid to broach the subject for fear of a negative answer.

We don’t sleep in the same bed anymore either. I am a big ...Read more

Orphan at Christmas

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

Both of my parents died in the past year. I had spent every single Christmas with them at my childhood home. Needless to say, I am dreading the holidays. I have small children of my own now. If one more person tells me to start my own tradition I’ll scream. If we had more money I...Read more

Poor Money Management

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My brother and sister-in-law have notoriously poor money-management skills and compulsive spending habits. After many years of helping them with gifts and loans, their immediate families now refuse to lend them money.

When their 17-year-old daughter was visiting recently, she mentioned that her parents pressure her to ...Read more

Exhibitionist Neighbor

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

I think we have an exhibitionist neighbor. In the morning, before dawn, the bathroom blinds (but not any other blinds) are raised high, the light is on, and she is clearly visible using the toilet and drying herself off after a shower. Her bathroom window is directly in our field ...Read more

Family vacation disaster

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My sister (step) and I get along great and have a lot of fun together ... as long as our parents aren’t around. When my mom and her dad are there, she is snarky, mean, easily offended, easily offensive, and it’s awful.

We’ve been talking about planning a vacation for all of...Read more

Now Who’s the Brat

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

Twelve years ago, my husband and I moved from my much-loved West Coast to the East Coast, where he was raised. His family lives about an hour from us.

At the time, our son was a year old, I was in between jobs and my husband got a job offer (procured in part by his family) for more money and a professional step up. The ...Read more

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My mother-in-law and her husband used to come to the city where my husband and I live about every other month, stay in a hotel, visit friends, and spend time with us. Just before the holidays last year, her husband left her, and we invited her to stay at our apartment for a ...Read more

Sad and Frustrated

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

My boyfriend and I are in our late 20s, living together, three hours away from our respective parents. We both grew up generally well, no huge battle wounds from childhood. We are both very lucky.

His parents are great. They raised three boys, all happy and healthy and leading their own lives. Dad holds strong family ...Read more

Carolyn Hax Advice Column

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi Carolyn:

I am a new mom of a baby girl. My in-laws are having a second child, their first was a boy. They have started making statements in earshot of us such as, “We’re just glad there’s both sexes in the family so we won’t have to buy new.” This has happened so many times now I ...Read more

Give Him a Chance

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

Is there any way to determine when someone is telling the truth about wanting to change? In a nutshell, been dating a guy who has a history of avoiding conflict by lying and omitting the truth, hooking up with other people while in a relationship, and deluding himself into thinking...Read more

Carolyn Hax Advice Column

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

My wife and I have been married for 28 years. Ninety-five per cent of the time we get along great.

We have both had our demons, however, and have been through various therapies, apart and together.

She was one of 14 children and has issues with abandonment and neglect. There is a little girl inside her who is hurt and ...Read more

Concerns Over Starting a Family

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My husband and I have been together 10 years and married for three. We have had a lot of conversations about our relationship and future family aspirations. About 18 months ago, I indicated I was ready to start a family. He was hesitant and suggested we were not in the right place (we both hated our jobs), but should work...Read more

Carolyn Hax Advice Column

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

While I did very well in school and attended a prestigious university, I can’t help but feel down. I procrastinated a lot -- I went into college hoping I would grow out of that, but I still did it, even though I got good results in the end. I haven’t yet found a job, mainly ...Read more

Carolyn Hax Advice Column

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hello Carolyn:

I am a 31-year-old American woman in a long-distance relationship with a 40-year-old Canadian man, a friendship that blossomed into more. We agree on wanting children in the next few years as well as closing the gap next year with me moving to Canada.

However, we disagree on ...Read more

Carolyn Hax Advice Column

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

A very good friend of mine has been separated from her spouse for a year and a half, her decision, which will eventually end in divorce.

Over the past year, this friend has made a lot of life changes, which is to be expected as she tries to figure out her life now. I’m just a bit ...Read more

Mistress Becomes Wife

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran on Sept. 16, 2012.

Dear Carolyn:

Long story short: Lost my partner to pulmonary embolism soon after a married friend lost his adult daughter to sudden death. We bonded through grief, engaged in an affair (on and off) across five years during which he initiated divorce proceedings ...Read more

Worried Mom

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran on Aug. 22, 2012.

Dear Carolyn:

My daughter, 12, has had the same best friend since she was 5. I also work with her mom.

Last year my daughter told me her friend was pinching her, and had been since kindergarten. (She never thought to tell me this before; she can be a bit oblivious...Read more

Time to Leave

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran on June 17, 2012.

Hi, Carolyn:

I have a bit of an open-ended question. When I'm unhappy, I tend to want to change everything -- job, relationships, etc. -- at once. It's hard for me to decipher where I'm unhappy and what the best ways are to change things, rather than blow up my ...Read more

Skeeved-Out Sister

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran on June 6, 2012.

Dear Carolyn:

I am 28 and have a little brother who is 16. He is smart, funny, kind and an all-around good kid. He is in a long-term relationship (well, for 16: six months) with a lovely young lady whom he adores.

They are probably going to have sex soon. Our ...Read more

Well Meaning

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Carolyn Hax is on leave. This column originally ran on May 2, 2012.

Dear Carolyn:

Is there a polite way to say to well-meaning family and friends, "Please don't feel like you have to try to set me up with every gay man you know just because I am single"? I live in an area without a huge gay community, so I'm grateful for occasional ...Read more

 
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