Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Friend Not Excitied About Baby

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

A friend confided that she is pregnant and feeling decidedly unexcited about it. Her current life checks all of the boxes for "ready for baby" including a lovely, excited husband. She doesn't seem depressed, just reasonably apprehensive about how much her life is about to change and ...Read more

How Much is Too Much

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

Volunteering at a local homeless shelter a few months ago, I "clicked" with a sweet, funny, smart 9-year-old girl who was staying there with her dad. I don't know the whole story, but her mom, for a variety of sad and scary reasons, hasn't been part of her life for the past several years...Read more

Husband Feels Included

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I have the privilege of being a stay-at-home mom to our 6-year-old twins. My husband works full time and is out of town once a week.

I think we have a good relationship. However, this is a constant issue: My husband would like to be included in our activities -- going to the zoo, miniature golfing, indoor playgrounds, etc. -- ...Read more

Birthday Girl

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

I followed your advice from last week and waited to see what my new boyfriend would do [for my birthday]. He's a total gem. He asked if I would like to go out to eat, and we went to a restaurant that I love and he's not that into. He insisted on paying. (We almost always split the bill.)...Read more

Wedding Night Disaster

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My honeymoon and marriage are in tatters because of two words I said on my wedding night. A few years ago, I was in a very intense relationship with "Rick." When it ended, I swore I wouldn't become so intimately involved with someone unless it was for life.

I met "Tom" shortly afterward, and knew he was "the one." I shared ...Read more

So Resentful

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Should an ex-wife continue to attend family events of her former husband after divorce? My partner and I have been together four years. We are both divorced, and his was very acrimonious. It is difficult for me to interact with his family as his ex continues to dominate every family ...Read more

Dealing With Mean Kids

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My 10-year-old daughter has a very lively and kind spirit. She isn't afraid to ask her classmates to play with her or if she may sit next to them. She can easily ask to join a conversation.

But many of the girls are not very nice and make fun of her eagerness. They exclude her almost like a game. I am at a loss how to help her...Read more

Getting Over Someone's Past

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I am in a serious relationship with a divorced man, no children. I am having trouble getting over the fact that he's done everything before -- proposed, watched his bride walk down the aisle, bought a house, etc.

I know it's ridiculous. It's soooo ridiculous. But why do I keep being ...Read more

Too-Young Stepmom

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I married someone quite a bit older, and now I am a stay-at-home stepmother to his two daughters, 13 and 11. Because he and his ex-wife are so busy with their careers, there's ample space for me to volunteer at their schools and be involved in their social lives.

When interacting with ...Read more

Secret to the Grave

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My mother says she will not tell me who my father is and will take the secret to the grave with her. Is there ever any good reason for not telling someone who their father is?

-- D.

If she doesn't know for sure herself.

If he committed crimes so heinous that she fears they would change the way you see yourself.

If he ...Read more

Looking for Boundaries

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My husband and I went out to a nice restaurant last night with friends of ours and their 2-year-old son. He was a bit of a handful, and we got some not-so-friendly looks. Nothing extreme, just age-appropriate squirmy-ness in the wrong environment. I didn't know what to do or say, and ...Read more

Poor Sportsmanship

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

This past weekend we (grandparents) were witness to two of the most appalling examples of poor sportsmanship and lack of self-control in recent memory, by the same opposing team coaches. While at a girls' softball tournament, the coaches of said team got in the face of the umpire over a call, which is never allowed, delaying ...Read more

Wait and See

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Should I tell my boyfriend of eight months that I want him to do something for my upcoming birthday? I just realized I'd like some gesture of let's-celebrate-that-you-were-born. I'm not looking for a streamer cannon. Going out to dinner or a gift (in the $5-$20 range) would be great. I ...Read more

Strain During Happy Time

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

My daughter was just officially engaged. It wasn't a total surprise, but she's so happy nonetheless. She had a venue in mind and checked availability (a place that fills up quickly) to coincide with an annual family event next summer. It was available, so she booked it and sent in the deposit.

She then asked her cousin, my ...Read more

Uncharacteristically Insecure

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

After eight months of dating, my ex moved from Boston to Salt Lake for work. We broke up because he said eight months wasn't long enough to start a long-distance relationship, but he'd be back to Boston for me.

I reached out a year later and he agreed to try long-distance. That lasted,...Read more

Self-Absorbed

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

I'm in my mid-30s with two kids out of infancy, husband, good job, nice house, etc. Finally felt like all the hard work paid off ... and then I developed a lot of worrying health issues and have been diagnosed with a rare, painful and disfiguring autoimmune disorder.

It has been about a...Read more

Long-Distance or Bust

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months, long-distance. We met in college seven years ago, were acquaintances, and just recently reconnected last year. We've started talking about the future, but can't nail down what to do about where our future will be.

He has a successful career in his city, our college town, and...Read more

Gray Area

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

A bunch of my friends and I are trying to plan a weekend together. There is one person who historically is very intense about taking the planning lead. Several people have commented, and I agree, that it is that person's way or the highway. It goes far beyond what we think is reasonable...Read more

I'm No Advice Columnist

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I'm a 33-year-old widowed guy, a good listener, patient, and I empathize well. Recently, I have become a magnet for female friends with relationship issues. Two separate women, both in long-term relationships, have told me all about their problems. My take is that both boyfriends are controlling, and I told them they need to ...Read more

Sticking to Her Ways

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My mom finds it rude and uncaring that I don't make personal inquiries of the details of people's lives when I chat with them. For instance, after telling her I saw an old friend, she'll ask questions about their life, job, family members, etc., and finds it self-absorbed of me that I ...Read more

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