Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Gender Battler

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My husband and I are expecting our first child. My mother insists on hosting a baby shower (despite my discomfort at having a family member host). I told mom that I wanted it to be co-ed -- I don't see why men should be excluded from the celebration of new life.

My mom and dad are ...Read more

Zero Boundaries

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Growing up, there were zero boundaries about what movies and TV I could watch -- content or amount. This was really, really not good for me. I have created lots of boundaries around these things, but I always feel like I'm not finding the right spot. Our friends and family seem to all ...Read more

Hurt in Florida

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My son knows that a card says a lot. Last year, my Mother's Day card was just basic from my son, grandkids and daughter-in-law. I didn't say anything. This year my grandson is 5 and he made a card, which was thoughtful but not from my son.

Now reread the first sentence. I have discussed this with my son in the past and I am ...Read more

Cautiously Wading In

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I've just turned 30 and I'm starting to come around to the idea that being a fiercely independent workaholic with no life outside the office might not be all it's cracked up to be. This is the first time I've really thought about trying to date, so I've missed out on all the experience ...Read more

Not Visiting Mother With Alzheimer's

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

My mom has Alzheimer's and lives in an assisted living facility. I have siblings that never go to see her, and they claim she doesn't recognize them or wouldn't remember that they were there. Are those legitimate or logical excuses?

-- G.

If the whole point of visiting were for your mom to know her children cared for her, ...Read more

Snoring Is Killing My Marriage

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I got married earlier this year to a wonderful man. During the day, things are great. But at night, he snores loudly and keeps me awake. I've done everything I can to deal with it: I wear industrial earplugs, use a white noise machine, take sleep aids, and have been sleeping on the ...Read more

Uncomfortable With Arrangements

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I've been dating a woman steadily for four months. Late last year, she dated another man for about six weeks, and they were quickly intimate. Then he broke it off with her because he supposedly was still hung up over his ex. Then he contacted her with a phony apology and they again were intimate until he broke it off with her ...Read more

I Would Trust You More If I Didn't Find Your Methods So Questionable

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My wife and I live by two different schools of thought. I believe that if something is worth doing, it's worth doing right, and I put lots of time, energy and resources into things I plan. My wife believes the perfect is the enemy of the good, and will accomplish tasks in a way I feel ...Read more

Being There

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

About two months ago, one of my best friends told me she and her husband are officially getting a divorce (among other problems, he cheated). I told her I am of course there for her when she needs it. I can take a day off work and drive to her anytime; we live an hour apart and have ...Read more

Classic Jerk FiL in NYC

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My father-in-law is a classic jerk; he neglected and abused my husband throughout his childhood and teen years. By abuse I mean clobbering him with closed fists in anger until my husband was old enough to hit back. As adults we have little to do with him, and I've taken a laissez-faire approach to his belittling comments and ...Read more

Too Shy To Meet Friends

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I have been in a relationship for over 18 months with my girlfriend. We were invited to my friend's wedding, and I am in the wedding party. She has met some but not all of my friends, including the bride and groom.

She isn't someone who likes interaction with new people, and the idea ...Read more

Impending Explosion

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

Two close friends of mine have recently decided they want to explore a relationship together. Great! The problem? One was in a relationship and had to exit it to pursue these newfound feelings.

As her relationship was never one that anyone felt was healthy, we're happy she broke up with her significant other. However I think it...Read more

Growing Apart

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Honest question and not trying to start a war! I'm a single, childless woman in my 30s. A majority of my friends and family members are parents to some amazing kids who I love.

Whenever there is a group get-together, the conversation almost always turns to breastfeeding, pregnancy ...Read more

Being Too Judgy

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn:

I have a friend who, by most any measure, has a lot to be thankful for. She has two lovely children and a husband. She's able to work only part time (though she hasn't gone back since child No. 2). They own their home outright and just bought a second in a beach neighborhood where they'll move once they remodel it. They travel ...Read more

Mom's Moved On

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I am having a hard time dealing with my mom and her new boyfriend. My dad passed away last year, and I am an (adult) only child. I know this loss affected her, but I don't think she's taken any time to see how the loss has affected ME.

I motored along for the first eight months or so ...Read more

Pre-Wedding Blues

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My wedding is in about six weeks, and I am feeling the crush of family, emotions, to-do lists, and keeping up my regular life. Lately, I've caught myself feeling weepy for no good reason. Not just wedding things, but today, while listening through a couple of music samples, I became so ...Read more

Lonely and Worried

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I have been in a relationship for six years. From the outset it was a long-distance situation, as she was often off on extended work-related projects, but we had a very strong connection when together. We have been making plans that would mean my following her to her long-term posting. She has also been my best friend for all ...Read more

Plus-One Problem

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

A good friend of mine, "Lori," lives out of town. We don't see each other much anymore (she's super busy with school, so visits are few and far between), but we keep in touch.

My wedding is coming up, and though it seems pretty large (over 100 people), 95 percent of those invited were ...Read more

What to Do

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My daughter graduates high school in June, and I informed our family of the date this past September.

My stepmother called a couple of weeks ago and informed me that my dad was coming to the graduation and it would be a sacrifice, because he has a bad back and can barely walk as of late. She said she couldn't come because a co...Read more

Taken Advantage Of

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

When my husband first moved in with me while we were dating, he was a weekend-laundry guy. I work from home and like having my weekends free for play, so I offered to do his laundry when I do mine.

At first, he was immensely grateful and was OK with my occasional bad habit of ...Read more

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