Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Hurt Feelings Over Wedding

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My best friend informed me she won't be attending my wedding due to financial constraints. My wedding is across the country in my fiance's hometown, so I completely understood.

Lately, she's brought up larger purchases she's been making and it's really starting to grate me. I'm ...Read more

Silent Treatment is Still Abuse

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

You said [in August: http://wapo.st/2aMLoQS] that "silent treatment ... is abuse." But what if you're angry and/or hurt and don't feel like talking to the person until you can get past whatever the issue is?

-- Silent

Then you say clearly, "I am angry [and/or hurt] and don't feel ...Read more

Questioning Ourselves

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

Our nephew, who we are very close with, wants to visit us for a few days with his girlfriend. They live together, but we told him they would have to sleep in separate rooms in our house because we have three daughters -- in middle and elementary school -- who are young and impressionable.

Now we are not sure if he will stay ...Read more

In the Know

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

When our neighbor moved in just over a year ago, she introduced herself and mentioned that her husband, who was in his late 30s, had passed away a year earlier. We've socialized with her quite a bit since then. She's amazing: seemingly not dwelling in the past or in the depths of despair...Read more

Carolyn Hax

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn!

I had a college friend until age 35, when he started dating and then married a girl who was not just entirely uninterested in me and my then-girlfriend (now my spouse), but downright rude to us. We overlooked much. Our friendship ended when after six months of planning, we drove 300 miles, checked into a hotel and called them to...Read more

Friendship-Lite

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I am not the type of friend you ask out to dinner. I am the type of friend whose call you sometimes answer and whose invitation you accept, when I make it.

As I approach 50, I can see this very clearly. I have a handful of "friends" but for whatever reason -- my independence or my ...Read more

Sister is No Third Parent

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I am in grad school and living in my parents' house. There are many issues that arise as an adult living at home, but my biggest issue is that my sister, who is a few years older and who also still lives at home, acts as my third parent. She does not have much of a social life and her love life is nonexistent, and she acts as ...Read more

Marriage in Mind

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

Just before I met her parents, my girlfriend confessed to me that she was married before. She was quite young, and divorced after a short time.

Our church, which we attend together, is pretty much against remarriage after divorce. Our pastors almost certainly wouldn't marry us if they ...Read more

Pregnant and With Cracks in Marriage

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn:

My husband has been possibly mildly depressed for a few years now, or maybe has anxiety. He seems to cycle maybe once every two months with periods worse than normal, which last for a week. He says he thinks really mean things about himself (that he's not good enough) and can't stop ...Read more

Free Agent

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

By mutual agreement, my ex and I ended our six-year relationship last year. We've remained friendly because we recognize that we simply grew up and apart since we met in college, but still enjoy the friendship our relationship was rooted in.

When we first broke up, my mom made many insulting implications about me and spent ...Read more

Cold-Shouldered

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Hi, Carolyn!

My husband and I recently had our first baby. My husband's brother and his wife are happily child-free and have shown zero interest in our daughter -- they've never interacted with her, never ask about her, never respond to the few pictures my husband sends them, and have told us ...Read more

Telling Her What to Eat?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I was out for dinner with my boyfriend and his family and one of his friends last week. I was the only one chowing down on dessert -- it was delicious! -- but my boyfriend kept shooting me looks. I jokingly said, "Are you going to keep staring at me while I eat?" and he said nothing. A few minutes later he goes, "Are you going ...Read more

Just Tell Me What You Want

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I grew up with a father and sister who were pretty controlling. They insisted they wanted to hear your opinion just so they could argue and pick it apart. Eventually the decision would be whatever they wanted in the first place.

I created a rule for myself: I'd give three suggestions ...Read more

Timeline on Grief

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Hi, Carolyn,

My mom died suddenly six months ago after 50-plus years of marriage. My dad has largely moved on, and is even more active than before, including beginning to casually date. It's a surprise, but he is happy and I'm happy for him.

But we've both gotten some harsh remarks and judgment from his circle, like, "She's barely in her ...Read more

House Drama

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My brother and his wife recently bought a house, and said -- not once but twice -- we should look at the house around the corner that was also for sale. I was a little surprised because while my brother and I get along well, his wife has never expressed much interest in our family.

We ...Read more

Hole In His Life

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My girlfriend and I were together for about four years. I loved her but I had some immaturity issues. She asked me this year if we were going to get married soon. I told her I could see it happening in two to four years, but don't feel any immediate desire for things to change between ...Read more

Not a Game Show Host

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

I've gone through some health challenges. Nothing that is likely to kill me, but I've spent literally years in pain and my life is far from what I had wished it would be. It's a grief process and it blows.

However, I feel like I can't express grief, or give a realistic (but not gross) depiction of my symptoms, without hearing ...Read more

Not Judging Others

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

While I'm away, readers give the advice.

On training oneself not to judge others:

I reached a point in my life when I realized my judging others caused me much more pain than it caused them, costing me relationships and injecting negative feelings into my life that didn't need to be there.

But, like any bad habit, recognizing ...Read more

Happy They Did It

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

While I'm away, readers give the advice.

On a college student's resistance to parental control:

Show your real independence. Ease the financial burden on your parents by paying for some of your education yourself. Even if it is supplies and/or fees for a year.

I found that my parents viewed the fact that I took part of the ...Read more

Fed Up With Mother-In-Law

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

While I'm away, readers give the advice.

On the Myth of the Evil Mother-in-Law:

A few years ago I wrote you a letter, which you published, thank you, in defense of mothers-in-law. It irked me that so many young wives and mothers seemed to be perpetuating the evil mother-in-law myth, and believed young women needed to be kinder ...Read more

 

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