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'Outed' uncle wants to babysit his nephew

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My husband's very religious family has serious issues with him being gay. His brother, "Steve," outed him in high school. He was forced into therapy, cut off financially and put through hell.

In the past few years most of his family has started to include both of us in their lives -- except for Steve.

Steve and his wife live near us, and in the five years I have been with my husband we almost never see them, despite repeated attempts on our part. We live several hours away from other family.

Steve and his wife recently had a child. My husband loves this child and wants to be a part of his life. He was visiting them twice a week to see his nephew.

One day he mentioned to his sister-in-law that if they ever wanted a night out we would be happy to babysit. She said no, because male family members were the most likely to molest their child. The sister-in-law is a licensed family therapist with a degree from a good school.

We are furious and hurt. I decided to look up the statistics. Her assertion is just pure homophobia.

 

I no longer feel comfortable even being around them (or my nephew), because I am worried that at any moment I could be accused of something. I don't trust them.

This is tearing my husband apart. They know this has upset us and have done nothing but say, "It's not just you, but we wouldn't let any male relative babysit."

I don't know what to do. My husband really wants to be a part of his nephew's life. Part of me wants to be vindictive and "out" her for her personal beliefs to her gay clients, but I realize that would be pointless.

What should we do?

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