Grieving family struggles to come together
Dear Amy: My sister recently died suddenly. My husband does not like my late sister's husband.
My mother invited my sister's husband to share our holiday dinner. I have a problem with him right now because after 35 years together (she even waited for him while he was in prison for more than a decade), he announced that he had met someone two months after my sister's death. We all believe he was dating this woman before my sister passed.
Currently, my mother, brother in-law and I are in grief therapy. Our counselor suggested we do things together that my sister liked, as a form of healing.
My mother believes this could be an exercise for healing. My husband refuses to go and has said I am being disloyal to him if I go. He said I should put him before all of them.
My husband and I have gotten into huge arguments over this and have even talked about divorce.
I want to go to my mother's house to be with her after my sister's death, but I don't want my husband to be unhappy and alone, either.
My husband knows the reason why I want to go to my mother's. I told him he is being controlling.
I don't know what to do. I am torn and feel miserable.
Your advice?
-- Torn and Miserable
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