Friend's guilt over college assault haunts her
Dear Amy: When I was a freshman in college, 17 years ago, my roommate and I went to a house party.
My roommate disappeared into a room with a guy. He locked the door. I banged on the door, but she didn't come out.
When she did emerge, she said she wanted to leave. On our walk back to the campus bus stop, she broke down sobbing, saying that he had forced her to have sex with him.
At the time, I had no way of comprehending that this was rape.
I am pretty sure I reacted poorly. I was in complete shock.
I do remember saying that we should go to the clinic, and that we should tell someone. She didn't want to.
When we woke the next morning, she didn't want to talk. We never talked about it.
Given all that is now coming to light around rape culture on campuses, and the wisdom that comes with age, I am riddled with guilt.
This must have shaped her college experience and her life in an awful way. I feel so ashamed and guilty that I didn't help her. We are still friends and I really want to tell her I am sorry, but I don't know how, or if I should.
-- Ashamed
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