Decade-long marriage is damaged by bomb
DEAR AMY: My wife of 10 years dropped a bomb on me last night. She told me that she's interested in having sexual relations with a female friend of hers. She is seeking my approval.
She feels that doing this with someone of the same sex doesn't constitute being unfaithful. I don't know if I'm being overly conservative here but I strongly disagree.
I've known she was curious for a little while now but I was totally not expecting this.
We have two young children and I'm very worried that her curiosity might put our family at risk. We had a long discussion last night but it seems she's already made up her mind and won't reason with me.
Is there anything I could say that would convince her otherwise?
I'm eager for your take on this. -- Scared Dad
DEAR SCARED: Your wife's reasoning is hilarious. In offering it, she is both insulting your intelligence and also diminishing the impact of her choice.
Your wife doesn't have the right to choose which of her actions constitutes a betrayal for you. Nor does she have the right to gaslight you into thinking that you are overly "conservative."
I can't help you to convince your wife not to do something she has already declared that she is going to do.
Is your marriage over? No. You two are talking openly and honestly, and that's a good thing. But you have a voice, and you must not let your wife silence it.
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