How should a client respond to therapist's impairment?
DEAR AMY: I have a therapist I have sessions with several times a month. I've been going to him for three years now, and he has helped me through many rough patches in my life.
He is a sophisticated, trustworthy, perceptive and wise psychologist in his mid-60s. My problem is this: On two appointments within four months, he seems to have been medicated, acting slow, dazed and with slightly slurred speech.
During these two sessions his advice and viewpoints were useless, and I felt like my time and money were wasted.
I realize this has happened only twice, but I am concerned with showing up to an appointment and not knowing what condition he may be in.
I'd like to confront the issue in some way, but I fear hurting his feelings, his pride and our doctor/patient relationship. I treasure this doctor, and don't want to lose him. I would love your advice on a direction to take. -- Confused Client
DEAR CONFUSED: The ideal place to confront any issue with your therapist is -- in therapy.
Therapists don't normally discuss their own lives in a session, nor should they. But if your therapist is behaving in a way that baffles, upsets you, or affects the quality of his care, it becomes an appropriate issue to discuss during the session.
Your therapist might have a health issue or other personal problem or addiction that is impairing his ability to provide the care he is capable of providing and which you deserve. You and he have built up a commendable relationship based on his expertise and your mutual trust. Now you should draw upon that and tell him what you have noticed. In this case, the go-to therapist's question, "How does that make you feel?" should be met with a very honest answer from you.
DEAR AMY: I am 54 years old and my problem is that I want to go to college, but because of my financial situation and other problems I am having trouble getting there.
I always wanted to continue going to school while I was younger but I have three children and two have had very serious health issues. My husband also has had quadruple-bypass open-heart surgery, so as you can see I have had a very busy life.
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