ArcaMax

DEAR AMY: I am a 19-year-old transgender female. I am in an excellent life position -- I have a high school diploma, a good part-time job and I am on track to get my associate degree. But I would gladly throw all of it away in order to just be me 100 percent of the time.

While I have not been forced out of my parents' house or denied their support, they've always supported their "son," not me.

Many of my personal habits are "typical BOY things." When I point out that lots of girls are somewhat masculine, my folks say, "Yeah, but it's still typically male."

My parents always seem to think they'll convince me to be a guy by buying me men's clothing, which implies that I'm not a real girl.

They don't mean to hurt me, but their actions make me feel like their "I love yous" are empty words because they also say, "Even if you get the surgeries, you'll always be our son."

They won't let me get my gender legally changed, with the reason of "you don't look like a girl," and "you're too young to really know for sure."

To me, those are biased excuses. To them, I'll never pass as a girl because they refuse to see me as anything but their "son."

Caitlyn Jenner (the only famous transgender person they focus on) has openly said she regrets that she didn't transition sooner. I want to tell them how much they've inadvertently hurt me. I don't want to hurt them, but at the same time I want to just scream at how they're being such jerks and tell them to take their dreams and chuck them out of the window because reality is never perfect.

What should I do? -- Respectfully Disrespected

DEAR DISRESPECTED: It's called "transition" for a reason. You are making a transition, but you are moving from a feeling of inner alienation toward a feeling of completeness.

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