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Boyfriend's 'comedy' really kills

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

DEAR AMY: I have been with my boyfriend for about eight years.

The other night we went out to dinner with my parents. One of their friends came over to the table to say hello. The conversation came around to this elderly friend's age. She is 80 years old.

My boyfriend asked her "if she still fools around."

We were all so embarrassed. He showed no respect to me, my parents or to their friend.

He does not think he said anything wrong. He thinks it is funny. He often talks about our sex life in a social gathering, even though he can see this makes people very uncomfortable. I feel this is a private topic. How do I handle this if it happens again? -- Not Amused

DEAR NOT: In addition to being rude, coarse and disrespectful, your boyfriend is also committing a crime against comedy. Maybe he is a full-time jerk, or maybe he is one of those people who gets nervous in social situations and that's when the "Jackass" gene surfaces. Either way, he is responsible for his actions.

 

But you are choosing to spend time with him. What's up with that?

The next time he calls you out publicly by embarrassing you, you should tell him, "I've asked you many times not to do this," and you should leave. Don't demand apologies or explanations. Just keep your distance. If he is capable of change, this might inspire him to dig deep and redefine his humor.

DEAR AMY: My brother is driving me crazy. His fiancee of six years (and the mother of his son) dumped him. She kicked him out of the house he had been paying for (and this is not the first time). He moved into a low-grade apartment. He could afford better but is "waiting."

He insists his fiancee is going to want him back and he wants to be available when that happens. He won't date other people or go out with friends. He does attend church, volunteers and goes to the gym.

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