Uncle at wedding? They'd rather elope
DEAR AMY: I have a wonderful boyfriend who is kind, understanding and shares my values.
We work at a nonprofit medical center. Many of our dear friends and colleagues are LGBT.
The problem is that we've not even (officially) begun planning our wedding and I'm already begging to elope. You see, I have an uncle who borders on being a zealot.
At my niece's baby shower he scolded my brother's girlfriend for being a "sinner" for having a baby out of wedlock. At my cousin's wedding while the bride was walking down the aisle he screamed, "And in my Bible it says it is Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!"
I've asked my mother if I could not invite him if I ever got married. She advised me to marry out of town.
The man is awful. He's been divorced three times and is currently on marriage number four, but he is quick to judge everyone around him. Loudly.
I hate the thought of him making anyone else I care about uncomfortable on what should be a happy day.
Are we allowed to leave him off the guest list, or should I start shopping for plane tickets to our destination wedding? -- Worrying About Wedlock
DEAR WORRYING: I often advocate for wedding inclusion -- even with difficult or challenging family members (or family members you just "don't like") -- but my intention is to remind people that "family" is not about insisting on perfection, but about accepting flaws and foibles.
However, if your uncle has a track record of disrupting family gatherings to the extent of "screaming" during a wedding service, then you shouldn't include him now. He has proven himself incapable of keeping his trap respectfully shut during an important ceremony.
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