Boyfriend's texts reveal unflattering truths
DEAR AMY: I have recently found myself in a sticky situation with my boyfriend. We met six months ago through a mutual (female) friend. This person is my roommate -- and my boyfriend's best friend.
From the beginning I was proactive about not putting her in the middle of our relationship because I didn't want to harm any of our friendships.
I had suspicions that they were conversing about our relationship, even though he has told me that he doesn't tell her things about us.
I went snooping into his phone to satisfy my suspicions and found a mountain of texts about me between the two of them.
Most of the texts were harmless, but a few were alarming because of what he said about needing space from me. He said I've become too territorial.
When talking with him he denies wanting alone time and diminishes any fear of my being clingy.
Since I've gotten myself stuck between two very different opinions, what do I do? Should I let it go and hope he's honest with me, or confront his dishonesty?
-- Sadly Stuck
DEAR STUCK: The first thing you should do is admit that your boyfriend is right. You are territorial.
I completely agree with your instinct to keep your relationship private from this mutual friend, but that's what best friends do -- they listen to their friends describe the joys and challenges in a new relationship. Presumably if his comments were universally benign or flattering you would not have a problem with this. Once he had vented about you, he might have decided that your actions weren't actually that troubling after all.
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