Can't Attend Mass? Lay Ministers Can Bring the Eucharist to Your Home

Q: As a senior citizen with health problems, it's very difficult for me to attend Mass regularly, so I've been watching Mass on television. Does this fulfill my obligation to physically attend Mass? -- Anonymous)

A: Not exactly. The Sacrament of the Eucharist must be fulfilled by actually taking the consecrated wafer and wine into your body. The good news is, when you're ill you are relieved of the obligation to attend Mass. The other good news is, there are wonderful Catholic lay people called Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (or Eucharistic Ministers for short) who would be honored to bring you the consecrated Eucharist in your home.

In this way, you could feel that while you might be distant from your church, the church is not distant from you. Many dioceses also offer shortened Masses during the week to help people who have difficulty attending longer Sunday services. There are many ways the gift of the Eucharist and your need for this gift can come together.

Q: I am Roman Catholic. My first marriage was a valid Catholic marriage that ended after 14 years in civil divorce. A year later, I was granted an annulment by the tribunal of my diocese. I subsequently remarried a Lutheran in a Protestant church.

My new wife refuses to have our marriage validated in the Catholic Church. She feels our Protestant marriage is as valid in the eyes of God as a Catholic one. I'm curious to know, in my present situation, what my status is in the Catholic Church. Would I be able to receive the sacraments?

I was told by a Catholic priest (at my mother's funeral) that I could receive the sacraments because I had no part in my wife's refusal to validate our marriage in the Catholic Church. -- M., via godsquadquestion@aol.com

A: According to my Catholic advisors, the priest to whom you spoke at your mother's funeral was correct. You did everything you could do to harmonize your new marriage with your old church. Your wife's refusal to (the word is convalidate) your marriage is her decision, not yours. However, I would advise the two of you to continue your discussions on this matter.

Convalidating your marriage would not be an insult or derogation of your wife's Lutheran faith. Rather, it would be an honest and inclusive statement that in your marriage, two Christian denominations have found a harmonious home. The lack of harmony at present is not a good foundation either for faith or for your marriage.

Q: I'm honored to have been asked to be the godfather for my closest friends' daughter. They are Catholic and I am Lutheran. Would this religious difference create any problems? -- J., via godsquadquestion@aol.com

A: By asking you to become the godfather of their child, these parents are showing their love for you and trusting that you'll care for the child if they're unable to do so. Specifically, godparents assume responsibility for the Catholic education of a child in the parents' absence. For this reason, it's clear why at least one of the godparents must be Catholic. You could therefore serve as a "pinch hitter" godparent, which is still a wonderful thing.

Q: I am Catholic. My husband was baptized Lutheran but does not practice his religion. Now, his health is failing. If and when he dies, could my parish priest say a few prayers at his funeral? Since my husband hasn't attended a Lutheran church in a long time, he doesn't have a pastor. -- C., via godsquadquestion@aol.com

A: Your parish priest can indeed say some prayers at your husband's funeral, but it doesn't make sense nor would it be appropriate for a Catholic priest to officiate at the funeral of a Lutheran. Christian clergy are not interchangeable. They represent the deep faith commitments of particular denominations. It's unfair to expect them to just fill in because spiritual issues that should have been addressed in life were postponed until after death.

I get many such pre-death questions. All of them cause me to plead with readers not to postpone discussing such religious issues until they're either awkward, or impossible to resolve. Death is the last rite of passage, and religion is about helping us move through the rites of passage in life, which are birth, adolescence, marriage and death.

If religion is meaningful to you, spend some time connecting with a faith that meets your spiritual needs and affirms your cultural and religious traditions. Then make a personal connection with a clergy person at a church, synogogue, mosque or Temple who can shepherd you through these moments.

The only thing worse than having to deal with the trauma of death is having to go through the death of a loved one with clergy who never knew him or her. You don't wait until your car blows up to find a good mechanic. So, put down the paper and find a good shepherd who can meet and get to know your husband before he has to bury him.

(Send QUESTIONS ONLY to The God Squad, c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or email them to godsquadquestion@aol.com.